A New Kind of Movie Thread
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 5:56 PM PDT
337 comments
Over the last year, I have become an avid NetFlix user. In many cases I've just been using it to catch up on movies that I meant to see in theaters but didn't end up doing (earlier this year, for example, I went through a block where I watched Spiderman 3, X-3, Pirates 3, and Rocky 5000). I have plenty of friends who do, but I don't tend to use it to find those hidden indie gems. Mostly I just want to watch the movies I missed, or the movies I was too young for, or the movies I never knew about with that actor I love. I don't need no crazy Koyanasqaatsi style masterpieces.
BUT!
(Big but there) I do want to stretch myself out every now and then. To watch something that I wouldn't normally watch, something under the radar, something artsy and weird, something painfully cerebral, cerebrally painful, or just plain aesthetically nutty. And sometimes it brings you some really, really good stuff, like Rhinoceros. Rarely, it brings you a total piece of crap. Unfortunately, that's why I'm pissed.
This week I got in the mail a movie called Woodenhead. It was supposed to be a quirky, Grimm inspired, black and white fairy tale with endearing, naive, sort of whimsical characters. It ended up being a steaming pile of suck. I would, without hesitation, go so far as to say that it was the worst movie I have ever seen. Ever. Locations: ugly. Camerawork: amateurish. Dialogue: idiotic. Premise: worthless. Characters: violently unlikeable. Pacing: unsteady at best.
Top put things in context, the preivious top two "worst evar" on my list were "Saw III" and "Fear Dot Com."
So that's where this becomes a different kind of movie thread. Usually we talk about movies we like, but this time I want to hear about movies you don't like. What's the worst movie you've ever seen? You can take this in two directions: There's the "it's so bad it's good" direction that comes with movies like The Goonies (I guess I'm probably getting banned for that...) or the "so bad it completely sucks and made an hour and a half feel like the length of a day" direction that comes with movies like "Meet the Spartans."
Have at it. Comment starter: Total crap movies.
This FanPost is reader-generated, and it does not necessarily reflect the views of McCovey Chronicles. If the author uses filler to achieve the minimum word requirement, a moderator may edit the FanPost for his or her own amusement.
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I didn't actually see it (minus the trailers)
Because I was afraid that if I did see it, then my brain would do like the house at the end of Poltergeist and I'd permanently forget how to eat or use the bathroom on my own.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 7:17 PM PDT up reply actions
Yea I went to see it...
The only part I thought was funny no one else in the theatre laughed at. Phil Morris (who played Jackie Chiles in Seinfeld) has a part in the movie and says the famous line, "Not that there's anything wrong with that." I laughed out loud in the theatre. No one else did. Then I sunk into my chair.
Coming to you from the Land of Many Beers
To be fair, though
Nobody else in the theater had probably ever even seen Seinfeld
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 7:24 PM PDT up reply actions
What's Seinfeld?
I looked up Steve Kline in the dictionary. He wasn't there. If he was, it would have said "pretty okay"
Nothing , really.
.
Aaron "Swag" Rowand
by victor frankenstein on Mar 21, 2008 2:51 AM PDT up reply actions
"The Messenger"
That's the worst movie I've ever seen. Joan of Arc is a very interesting historical character. And that movie was really really stupid and ugly. So it gets top honors for making a horrible movie about one of the most interesting characters in history.
Other horrible movies I've seen: "Ultra-Violet "(another Mila Jovovich movie, has she been in any good movies besides "The Fifth Element?") and "The Enforcer" (I'm a mild fan of kung-fu movies and we thought we'd try this old Jackie Chan movie. Well it was his first American movie and it was absolute phlegm and mucus. That's to say it was bad.)
I'm sure there's others but I tend to avoid movies that I don't think will be good, which means I usually don't see bad movies.
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
Yeah
That movie actually did a lot of things right. It's underrated by a lot of people. It's not a great movie, not at all, but it's capably scripted and acceptably made.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 10:07 PM PDT up reply actions
RE2, on the other hand
Was exceptionally bad.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 10:08 PM PDT up reply actions
Milla However...
Is always good.
Love me some Milla :-)
My adopted son Matt Downs. Bococks up, why not Downs ? Bocock Jokes in the sig line :-)
yuck
There aren't many movies that I hate enough to write something about it, but RE2 was one of them.
feliz gone, team still bad
Just Something for me
about badass chicks with guns !
My adopted son Matt Downs. Bococks up, why not Downs ? Bocock Jokes in the sig line :-)
really?
I have that on my "worse editing" list, probably at the top. There was some serious stuff left on the cutting room floor and not much attention paid to see if what was left made sense. I wouldn't put it on a worst movie ever list because Milla is hot and there's some badass action, but wow the editing sucked.
Merkin Valdez career SO/9: 10.8
I don't remember being bothered by the editing in that one, but I haven't seen it in quite a while. Certainly nothing about the movie made me go "hey, that was really good," but there are a number of things that happen that make think "hey, they're actually trying to make a movie here."
I guess that's not exactly a ringing endorsement, but as Video Game movies go, the visible attempt to make something that wasn't total crap for cash was pretty revolutionary to me at the time and I can respect it for that.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 21, 2008 6:27 PM PDT up reply actions
My friends and I actively seek out total crap movies. We MST3K the hell out of them usually on DVD. Bad horror B-movies are usually the best ones for that. In fact on Sunday I'm going to a zombie movie marathon hosted at a friend's house.
In the last year I've been seeking out the foreign and art house stuff more than ever. I can't recall a flat out terrible unenjoyable movie I've seen in the last 365 days. Even if the movie is retarded like the Tenacious D movie it's good for dumb laughs.
Most of the remakes of Asian horror flicks are just plain lousy, but most of us know that. Though after a while the Japanese Ju-On movies got completely ridiculous. It was the same thing over and over.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 20, 2008 7:36 PM PDT reply actions
I found
I found the original Ju-On to be pretty comical in its own right. Then again, I also thought The Exorcist was the greatest comedy of the '70s.
The Tenacious D movie wasn't anywhere as good as it could have beem, but it was very easy to sit through and enjoy for all of its flaws (also, knowing that he actually DOES deactivate lasers with his dick is totally worth the price of admission).
Speaking of bad foreign movies, coming up soon on my NetFlix I have the Korean movie Dragon Wars. It's going to be absolutely terrible, but I don't think there will be a minute that I won't enjoy.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 7:59 PM PDT up reply actions
Oh man, D-War was a spectacular crapfest. The dragon action was amazing. And Darryl from The Office is in it. You can't go wrong with that!
SAVE_US.RAY
My brother saw it during its short theatrical run. I was jealous.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 8:03 PM PDT up reply actions
Goonies?
You mean the way the Goonies was so great it was frickin awesome! Right?
Don't think, it could only hurt the ballclub.
Ummm...
Yeah, sure... that's kind of what I meant, you know, if you squint.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 8:04 PM PDT up reply actions
Pathfinder
Wannabe "300," falls short by a wide, wide margin.
Brian Anderson: I can has spot in Fresno 'pen?
Was that the movie about the Vikings coming and murdering all the barbaric evil Native Americans?
If it was the movie I'm thinking of, then I didn't see it because the trailers made it look like it was really racist.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 8:02 PM PDT up reply actions
Oh that movie looked so godawfully terrible.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 20, 2008 8:12 PM PDT up reply actions
I usually try to avoid any movie that has any remote possibility of being terrible. I did have the misfortune of seeing Elektra though. I don't know why I watched that. I don't even like Jennifer Garner.
SAVE_US.RAY
Because she's not much of an actress
And she's not even that good looking. I'm with you.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 8:00 PM PDT up reply actions
I just realized I watched a "so bad, it's good" movie last night: Kung Fu Dunk. It's weird. It has all these great actors in it, but unfortunately, the main character is played by Jay Chou, who is a fantastic singer/songwriter, but a terrible actor. His expression throught the movie is pretty much this: :| The basketball action consisted of nothing but alley-oops and three pointers from the other side of the court. It was much more entertaining than Semi-Pro though.
SAVE_US.RAY
Also, adding to the list, the new Rambo and Alien Vs Predator 2 were fun and mindless to watch. I tend to like stupid action movies.
SAVE_US.RAY
AVP Requiem
That movie was everything I needed it to be. Things died. Predator was a badass. Didn't totally suck.
I call that a win!
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 8:10 PM PDT up reply actions
That basketball movie
Makes me think of this: http://www.gamingw.net/forums/index.php?topic=68488.0
Which, I have to say, sounds like the best game that's ever been made. I haven't DL'd it yet, but boy am I going to. It looks really, really great.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 8:11 PM PDT up reply actions
Some really obscure ones...
Well, remember, even as bad as "Saw III" is, some group of producers out there thought it was at least mediocre enough to get a theatrical release. The really awful movies are the ones that never made it that far. My family used to run a chain of video stores when I was growing up, and we had a whole basement full of the most toxic straight-to-video crap you've never heard of.
I'm having a hard time remembering any specific titles off the top of my head, but the worst one I can come up with is dinger called Rubin and Ed, featuring a young Crispin Glover as a socially-stunted pothead who spends the entire movie wandering around Utah with his used-car salesman friend, trying to find a good place to bury his beloved dead cat. I'm totally serious.
Another good (bad) one: Weather Woman, kind of a Japanese Network featuring a superhero dominatrix instead of Peter Finch. I think it's based on an anime, if that tells you anything.
I'm trying to find more on IMDB, but I imagine I've got most of the titles wrong. They're all combinations of words like "high school," "nuclear," bikini," "horror," and "Corey Feldman." I'll post more if I can remember them.
Those movies sound AWESOME!
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 8:06 PM PDT up reply actions
Pink Flamingos is AWESOME. It's so bad it's good. I can't dis it.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 20, 2008 8:12 PM PDT up reply actions
That movie
Is officially on my NetFlix now.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 8:14 PM PDT up reply actions
Well I have a soft spot in my heart for LGBT cinema, and I just find crossdressing hilarious...
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 20, 2008 8:18 PM PDT up reply actions
I kind of agree with you. "Pink Flamingos" is kind of like the "Citizen Kane" of horrible movies. I'd much rather be forced to watch that again instead of, like, "Crash," which is bad in a way that just annoys me (the oscar-winning one, not the David Cronenberg one). But I'd probably need to get drunk first.
Crash was fucking bad as bad can be
Man that movie was a stinking pile of fish poop.
¿Julio is tourist in San Francisco?
It seriously looked like the most overrated piece of crap of our generation.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 20, 2008 9:40 PM PDT up reply actions
I'm not
Terrible movie. The whole gimmick is that's just a bunch of stock L.A. racial stereotypes, doing L.A. racial stereotype kind of things, but then suddenly they're all like "OH LOOK, NOW I'M DOING SOMETHING THAT'S NOT STEREOTYPICAL OF MY RACE! DIDN'T EXPECT THAT, DID YOU?! RACISM IS BAD!"
Sorry...I hate it. Maybe I'd hate it less if it hadn't won the Academy Award. But I'd still hate it.
I'm carrying some residual anger over it winning Best Picture over Brokeback Mountain, myself.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 21, 2008 10:03 AM PDT up reply actions
Brokeback, while a visually nice picture, I thought was way overrated too.
It's mostly OMG GAY COWBOYS and not a touching story that everyone tried to make it out to be. That was my feeling.
http://www.baycityball.com
I have no soul and a heart that barely works and I was bawling like a freaking baby at the end of BBM. It moved me. Unlike most things in this world.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 21, 2008 10:41 AM PDT up reply actions
I 100% agree with rocketdog
Crash was an awful exercise in poor writing filled with stereotypes.
Brokeback Mountain was a beautiful movie that was a bit slim on the writing side of things, but still should have won due to the sheer beauty of the film-making, which they at least acknowledge with the director award.
¿Julio is tourist in San Francisco?
I always feel...
a little out of place on these movie threads. I really like movies. But I think my enthusiasm for movies is pale in comparison to you guys.
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
There is a stupid, silly, ridiculous Japanese flick called Battlefield Baseball I watched last year. It has zombies, over the top cartoonish violence, and baseball. But I loved it, so I don't count it as a truly bad movie.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 20, 2008 8:21 PM PDT reply actions
Shaolin Soccer
That movie is really, really good. In that it's actually good, and by virtue of that it's enjoyable. I really like that movie. A lot.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 8:30 PM PDT up reply actions
Also by Stephen Chow...
Kung Fu Hustle. Worth watching. And it is good good, not bad good.
My adopted son Matt Downs. Bococks up, why not Downs ?
If you like those, you should see his earlier movies. They're not as polished as those two and had much smaller budgets, but they're freaking hilarious. My personal favorite is Jing Goo Jing Ga/Tricky Brains with Andy Lau.
SAVE_US.RAY
I'll add it to my que...
Oh, wait ! I don't have one :-(
Just a little too impatient for Net Flix. Seriously thinking about Net Flix downloads though.
My adopted son Matt Downs. Bococks up, why not Downs ? Bocock Jokes in the sig line :-)
That's , ah , "queue"...which I like to pronounce "Kweewee".
Aaron "Swag" Rowand
by victor frankenstein on Mar 26, 2008 1:43 PM PDT up reply actions
I'll have to see that
Somehow, I think I'd dig a lower-budget Chow movie even more than the big budget ones.
¿Julio is tourist in San Francisco?
they aren't all winners
A lot of them are kinda hard to watch. Lawyer, Lawyer and the Fight Back to School series are to be avoided.
Eighties Hong Kong movies in general give me the same feeling as when I hear Shatner sing.
feliz gone, team still bad
I udnno
I liked the first Fight Back to School, even though the premise was pretty far-fetched. The other two were just meh.
SAVE_US.RAY
Huh huh , he said "Farfetch'd"
you know it's a slow day in Frankenland if I'm writing shit like this...
Aaron "Swag" Rowand
by victor frankenstein on Mar 26, 2008 1:45 PM PDT up reply actions
God of Cookery!
God of Cookery! God of Cookery!
Best Stephen Chow movie ever! Best completely batshit insane comedy ever!
feliz gone, team still bad
Shaolin Soccer is outstanding. Complete with poor subtitles.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 20, 2008 8:40 PM PDT up reply actions
While we're at it...
Here's one of my favorite scenes from the movie:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xobYlxLgAU
SAVE_US.RAY
Damn you
I just choked laughing.
Aaron "Swag" Rowand
by victor frankenstein on Mar 26, 2008 1:49 PM PDT up reply actions
Cheerleader Ninjas
Yes, "Cheerleader Ninjas" is a real movie. And it was absolutely terrible.
Brian Anderson: I can has spot in Fresno 'pen?
I should also add
I watched a movie called "Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter."
It's as bad as it sounds.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
On another forum I used to go to, there was a guy who was apparently in that.
Not a big role or anything, but he put up a clip. There was a scene where a group dragged some guy into a van or something. He was in the group.
I never have anything constructive to add.
I looked up Steve Kline in the dictionary. He wasn't there. If he was, it would have said "pretty okay"
Since we're onto so-bad-they're-awesome Asian cult movies
Here are a few off of my dvd rack:
Tetsuo: The Ironman - This is actually one of my favorites of all time. I won't try explain the plot, but here's a YouTube clip of the trailer.
The Story of Ricky - The most hilariously graphic fight scenes I can think of.
Happiness of the Katakuris - Bizarre Japanese zombie musical from the guy who directed Audition.
Speaking of Ironman
Who wants to see the new Ironman (link to trailer)
Has the potential to be good.
My adopted son Matt Downs. Bococks up, why not Downs ? Bocock Jokes in the sig line :-)
Has the potential to be good?
Jon Favreau directing? Check
Robert Downey Jr. playing irreverent drunk? Check
Inclusion of the song "Iron Man" in the trailer? Check
What could possibly be anything less than fantastic about this movie? (I'm serious, too, as this might be my personal most anticipated movie of the year)
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 9:16 PM PDT up reply actions
OK, Maybe a bit of understatement
I too think the movie looks great.
I generally don't go to the theater more than twice a year. Too many screaming kids, people talking during the film, expensive tickets, and overpriced popcorn.( The 56" 1080P TV, Blu Ray and home theater makes it kind of pointless as well)
The Dark Knight was on the top of my list, until the death of Heath Ledger. I'm afraid seeing his last performance (reviewed as spectacular) would change the whole tone of the movie for me.
Ironman has moved up on the list and might entice me into theater. Downey seems to be back in form.
My adopted son Matt Downs. Bococks up, why not Downs ? Bocock Jokes in the sig line :-)
I digress
Which HDTV brand did you get? Recommendations? I've got to hurry and get one before Matt Downs makes the majors... : )
Heath Ledger's death won't affect me in any way when I finally see the movie.
Looking forward to Iron Man.
Your 2011 SF Giants: the 2008 Augusta Greenjackets!
Samsung 1080P DLP, connected to DirecTV HD DVR. The only problem I have is that there are not enough Giants games in HD.
Have had it for about 2 years. It was one of the first reasonable 1080P's available. Not really comfortable with plasma due to the screen drop out issues , straight LCD is just a little to expensive, but can't wait for OLED to become affordable.
Because of the rapid pace in development, the tip is to look for the features and technology that you prefer, then go to a outlet house and find last years model. Try not to buy any "first year" technology.
For example, the TV I bought has 3 HDMI inputs, VGA in/out, 2 Optical in/out for audio , and of course component in/out. Drove down to the local Best Buy/Circuit City/ etc and viewed the set in person, made sure it was what I wanted. The 2007 model (Fall 2006) was on sale for $2999.
Went to an online outlet, found the same set in the 2006 model, same specs, the only difference was the bottom "grill" for the speakers. On the one I purchased it was silver. On the 2007 model it was black. My TV with shipping, was $1999 ! Same exact TV.
My adopted son Matt Downs. Gamer !
Worst Movie Ever
I'm not talking "bad good", I'm talking very,very awful.
Mythical creature (+), good storyline (+) terrible acting and effects.
My adopted son Matt Downs. Bococks up, why not Downs ?
Automatic fail.
Correct me if I'm wrong here but didn't S.King invent the Wendigo in "Pet Sematary"?
Personally I think that nothing he's invented was ever well represented screenwise.
Twenty five years ago I was more accepting of movies - now I'm real anal. You can't dazzle me with special effects and have me crow about the movie's value - there has to be some feeling to it and in turn they have to elicit emotion from me. Your modern shockers , i.e. "Saw" and the like - well , fine Hallowe'en fare but cinematic verite? No. That's the car crash you can't not watch...but easily disposable. I want to be drawn in and wrung out emotionally , to really feel the movie.
I've become generally skeptical , but I've not been failed by contemporary Eastwood.
Aaron "Swag" Rowand
by victor frankenstein on Mar 20, 2008 9:29 PM PDT up reply actions
The Wendigo was the only weak link of Pet Sematary IMO.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 20, 2008 9:35 PM PDT up reply actions
The Wendigo...
From the always accurate source that is Wikipedia
My adopted son Matt Downs. Bococks up, why not Downs ? Bocock Jokes in the sig line :-)
Ya , well , Borders sells to Algonquins jus' like everbuddy else.
Jeez , I hate it when my idiocy is publicly outed...
Aaron "Swag" Rowand
by victor frankenstein on Mar 25, 2008 11:57 AM PDT up reply actions
my picks
supposed to be good but is actually really really bad: The Patriot. "It's a free country, at least, it will be."
low budget sci-fi so bad it's good but actually not good, just really bad: Test Tube Teens From the Year 2000. I have no words to describe this film.
Totally AWESOME (in its badness): Snakes on a Plane.
Rented it because I thought I remembered seeing it (and liking it) as a kid, but it turns out is really boring and makes little to no sense, and is really just a weird reflection on nazi germany, I think: Wizards.
2002? I'm over it. But I'll never be over Rich Aurilia.
The supposed to be good but is actually really really bad award also goes to: Pearl Harbor.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 9:06 PM PDT up reply actions
They were right
It's really, really, really, really, really bad.
The only good things about it were somebody dying (Affleck or Hartnett, I forget which one and it doesn't really matter either way) and the fact that I got extra credit in my AP US History class for watching it.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 9:18 PM PDT up reply actions
Pearl Harbor
The thing I remember most from that movie was Dan Akroyd. I remember going "woah, it's Dan Akroyd!" Because it was Dan Akroyd.
Also, some love triangle crap happened or something.
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
TTTFTY2K!!!
Yes! That's totally one of the straight-to-video movies from my parents' basement (see above post).
I remember Wizards...I liked it as a kid too, although I seem to remember thinking it was a little long and boring in parts. The animation's kind of interesting though.
Live Free, Die Hard
That movie was completely ass-tacular. Seriously- I recommend it, if you're into so-bad-its-good type movies. It's Showgirls-esque, if you will.
I would say Half-Baked, except it made my respect for Bob Saget go up into the stratosphere, so I guess it's not total ass.
Oh yeah- Baseketball. That was embarrassingly bad.
¿Julio is tourist in San Francisco?
Live Free or Die Hard
That movie was pretty much exactly what it was supposed to be. Loud, ridiculous, action. It was just too bad John McClain wasn't really John McClainy anymore, but whatever.
There was some minor asian race stuff that shouldn't have gotten to the final draft of the script, but nobody seemed to really notice or care so it's possible I was being too sensitive about it.
Even so, that movie... ahem... did it's job. Dumb entertainment is dumb entertainment is dumb entertainment. Plus there's Kevin Smith in there.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 9:35 PM PDT up reply actions
I don't really remember any racial stuff (probably because I was too pumped up by seeing Bruce Willis knock off a helicopter with a car), but it probably wasn't too bad if I didn't notice it. I'm usually pretty sensitive about that stuff. I can think of many worse examples, but that's another topic for another time.
SAVE_US.RAY
Something about "Kung Fu Bitch" and a few other throwaway lines along the same lines
Like I said, it was minor, and it was only a couple of lines that were really really passing, but it bothers me when lazy throwaway lines make it through like that just because they're in and out so fast.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 10:19 PM PDT up reply actions
Live Free or Die Hard was a big stupid action movie. Nothing wrong with it.
BASEketball had the immortal line from Bob Costas: "You're excited? Feel these nipples!" So I can't hate that one either.
I looked up Steve Kline in the dictionary. He wasn't there. If he was, it would have said "pretty okay"
how dare y ou
baseketball was great, as were the rest of those two's cheesy ass films. especially Orgazmo.
basketball is almost more relevant now in terms of its concepts towards sports then it was then.
Here's a weird one
Some may think it very bad, but I really liked it: Killer Condom. I'll leave the plot of this weird-ass German movie to your sick imagination.
¿Julio is tourist in San Francisco?
Indie flick I hated
Pretty much everyone loved Once but I just could not stand it. Felt like the longest 2 hours of my life. I liked the songs and I even liked the two main leads but ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Make me proud again Hen
by AndYourBirdCanSing on Mar 20, 2008 9:45 PM PDT reply actions
Really? I'm looking forward to this one on my Netflix queue. I'm apprehensive now.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 20, 2008 9:56 PM PDT up reply actions
yea
yea, I'm not sure if it's just me or not. I saw it with my girlfriend and afterwards everyone was clapping and we just looked at each other like what?
Make me proud again Hen
by AndYourBirdCanSing on Mar 20, 2008 10:01 PM PDT up reply actions
Is that the one with
The Governator?
That movie raped my soul.
You deserve to be struck out, when your first name's a verb.
to paraphrase Mike Nelson
Not just the worst movie in history. The worst thing in human history. Way back in prehistory there may be something worse scrawled on a clay tablet, but we can't be sure.
feliz gone, team still bad
Godzilla (American version)
You know, with Matthew Broderick
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
OMG IT WAS THE FRENCH ALL ALONG!
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 10:20 PM PDT up reply actions
My favorite part of that movie
For some reason, this is the part of that movie that stands out the most to me. The French guys are in a van and one of them comes back with doughnuts. The leader guy is all like "Pas croissant?" And the doughnut guy shakes his head. They couldn't find croissants in New York? It's not like croissants are some obscure foreign food.
I have no idea why that's the part that stands out to me. But it does. Even more so than the baby Godzillas hatched in Madison Square Garden that looked and moved like Velociraptors.
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
Star Treks
The Motion Picture (the first Star Trek movie)
Star Trek 5 (This might actually be the worst movie I've ever seen)
Generations
First Contact
And, of course, Nemesis (it gives Star Trek 5 a run for its money.)
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
You didn't like First Contact?
Jean Luc, blow up the damn ship!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=639wmgLAnKY
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 10:35 PM PDT up reply actions
No
I realize most Trekkies really like First Contact. I hated it. There are many reasons for this.
1) There are an incredible array of gigantic plot holes (For instance, instead of having a backup plan of going back in time to stop first contact if their ship should get destroyed, how about doing, oh I don't know, SENDING MORE THAN ONE FREAKIN' CUBE)
2) The Borg Queen ruined one of the best villains in fiction
3) Stupid throw away lines (Worf: Assimilate this!)
4) I thought the treatment of Zefram Cochrane was stupid
5) I thought the interaction between the Enterprise crew and Cochrane was stupid.
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
"Assimilate This" was only a bad line because Worf didn't grab his crotch when he said it.
Plot holes don't bother me much if the rest is strong enough, and that movie did a lot for me.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 10:42 PM PDT up reply actions
Plot Holes
I'm a story guy first and foremost. So i think that plot holes get to me more than most people.
Having said that, I don't always judge a movie based on whether it has plot holes. After all, almost every movie is bound to have a couple. For me, if the foundation of a movie is based on a plot hole (such as First Contact) that's going to almost certainly make me not like the movie because I have a much harder time suspending disbelief.
Plus it depends upon how strong the rest of the movie is. The rest of First Contact wasn't that hot to me, either, so it has a much smaller chance of recovering than if I had really liked the rest of it.
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
Based on that
I think you'll really enjoy watching this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yqVD0swvWU
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 10:51 PM PDT up reply actions
Oh man, now that WAS funny
And, see, I absolutely loved the Lord of the Rings (both books and movies)
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
but...
You insult First Contact, and we hold our tongue...
You disrespect the Borg Queen, and we say nothing...
Not again!
The line must be drawn here!
This far, no further!
... I ... will make you pay for what you've done!
Seriously though, I didn't think it was bad, but I do think it was overrated.
was: dissertating
by non sequitur on Mar 20, 2008 11:09 PM PDT up reply actions
One of the reasons why I'm a DS9 fan
I loved it when Quark parodied that speech. Funny stuff.
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
DS9
Was a pretty damn good show.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 11:18 PM PDT up reply actions
I think it was the best of the Trek incarnations, although I didn't think it exploited its premises sufficiently. From the very first show it had the opportunity to seriously explore themes like post-colonialism and especially religious Bajor vs. secular Federation. You'd get a show every now and then that capitalized on these ideas, but it was rare, and then the Dominion came along and the story lines completely changed.
was: dissertating
by non sequitur on Mar 20, 2008 11:26 PM PDT up reply actions
I found DS9 boring
Sorry, thehavenot, I totally disagree. None of the ST movies are great, but not that bad. Well, "Generations" WAS bad, now that I think of it. Still, I hated just about everything on DS9 except the sets. Bad acting (Avery Brooks was just terrible), bad writing, bad lighting, unbelieveable characters even for that milieu... Ugh.
Your 2011 SF Giants: the 2008 Augusta Greenjackets!
'Tis Okay
Reasonable people can disagree.
Though, I am wondering how you came to have such a horribly wrong opinion.
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
Yeah. Odd, isn't it?
And yet you're absolutely right about the Giants being the best team ever.
Your 2011 SF Giants: the 2008 Augusta Greenjackets!
Nemesis isn't a Star Trek Movie
Seriously. It doesn't count. Not even a little. It's a complete and total tragedy of moviemaking.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 11:08 PM PDT up reply actions
Actually
I'd say it fit right in with the last few years of Star Trek. Seriously, Star Trek died a horrible, agonizingly slow death.
And, yes, I realize that there's a new one coming out. But it's supposed to be something of a reboot. Which is funny, considering I view all of Star Trek (aside from DS9) starting from First Contact as something of a reboot.
Seriously, if you want, I'll give you my theory of exactly how Star Trek went down the tubes.
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
I wouldn't be opposed to hearing this theory
Though, to be honest, I actually enjoyed Insurrection too. It's not a good movie, per se... but... uh...
Shut up, that's why.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 11:21 PM PDT up reply actions
Well, you'll notice Insurrection wasn't on my "bad Star Trek movies" list
In fact, I would agree completely with what you said about Insurrection
But on to my theory. At the time of First Contact, Star Trek was run by Rick Berman and Brannen Braga. It is my belief that they wanted to remake Star Trek in their own image, as it were. First Contact was the first step in this endeavor. There was a subtle reenvisioning of the Star Trek universe beginning with this movie. The Borg Queen and the portrayal of Zefram Cochrane were two examples of this. This reenvisioning continued as Voyager continued its slow decay. The removal of Kess, the creation of Seven of Nine, the further co-opting of the Borg are all examples of this.
The ultimate goal, I believe, was to set us up for Enterprise. That was the final product of their reenvisioning. The proof is in the name. They didn't put Star Trek in the title. It was their baby. Their vision. It was pathetic. As was most of the stuff they put out basically from Generations on.
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
I can go with that pretty much full bore
Small pun on "bore" there. Voyager was a pretty unwatchable show for most of its run, and I really tried getting into Enterprise but it was just too contradictory to the other shows... even when it was being good it was almost like an insult. While I don't share your feelings on First Contact, I absolutely share your feelings about Berman and Braga and agree with pretty much everything you say there.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 11:43 PM PDT up reply actions
First Contact was kickass! Say nothing bad of First Contact!
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 21, 2008 8:34 AM PDT up reply actions
You forgot to grab your crotch when you said it.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 21, 2008 10:17 AM PDT up reply actions
Frankly
I'm surprised he didn't notice it. I couldn't afford a good spy camera so I just ponied up for the handheld camcorder and jammed it in there.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 22, 2008 12:29 PM PDT up reply actions
I thought the move would fix that
Guess I'll have to move again.
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
Masterminds
I watched this because I was still sad that TNG had ended and wanted to see Patrick Stewart. Should have watched Dune again instead.
by paboperfecto on Mar 24, 2008 6:19 AM PDT up reply actions
A Phantom Menace
Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith weren't too hot either.
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
Agreed
And it took me awhile to be able to admit it, as a serious fanboy.
Moving right along, there's Catwoman - the character is great, the movie? Crapolatica.
¿Julio is tourist in San Francisco?
Catwoman
Wow that was awful. Even Halle Berry knew it.
You deserve to be struck out, when your first name's a verb.
When Obi Wan gives his "You were the chosen one!" speech, I almost wanted to cry.
That movie had a lot of really good stuff, if you can just muscle through the blatantly silly stuff (like "she's lost the will to live" CRAP).
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 10:39 PM PDT up reply actions
There were a few redeeming moments of Episode III. The final battle between Anakin and Obi Wan was pretty damn sad, and epic. The scene where Anakin goes into the temple and murders all the kids was dark as hell too.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 21, 2008 8:37 AM PDT up reply actions
I actually liked Eps II and III
III almost felt like a Star Wars movie, even.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 10:37 PM PDT up reply actions
The thing is
Those movies could have been so good. It's such a disappointment what we ended up getting (and paying for)
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
Yeah
I know where you're coming from. I worked really, really hard to get it out of my head that they were "Star Wars" Star Wars movies, because if I didn't I would have really, really hated the first two
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 10:47 PM PDT up reply actions
III was O.K.
but Eps II was painful. I still hate Natalie Portman for it.
You deserve to be struck out, when your first name's a verb.
how could you
ever hate natalie portman????
I sure wish that Ort Cloud would form a solid sphere to enter into this team's orbit.
by SloIsLonelyForTheOrange on Mar 21, 2008 9:25 AM PDT up reply actions
Maybe
Because she says incredibly stupid things that make her look like a pretentious twat?
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 21, 2008 10:02 AM PDT up reply actions
Which is why I don't even bother trying to argue. Plus she's not a terrible actress, given the right stuff. She impressed me in V for Vendetta, for example.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 21, 2008 10:39 AM PDT up reply actions
I'm not sure how many movies I've even seen her in but I've never seen one where I said "Damn, what a great actress". I thought she was alright in the Professional.
http://www.baycityball.com
Closer was a snorebore, but she was okay in it. I just went for Clive Owen who is OMGWTFBBQ hot, IMO of course.
She wasn't bad in Garden State, either.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 21, 2008 10:48 AM PDT up reply actions
Portman in Garden State
had just enough akward quirks in the character to make it worth watching. Not really sure if it was the writers or her acting that made that character.
My adopted son Matt Downs. Bococks up, why not Downs ? Bocock Jokes in the sig line :-)
Never seen Closer, didn't look too impressive when I saw it on trailers. Garden State was alright, I didn't love her character but it was ok.
Have you seen Shoot 'Em Up? It's about as brainless as a you can get for a movie but I thought it was entertaining enough. And it has Clive for you ladies!
http://www.baycityball.com
I have Shoot 'em Up on my Netflix queue for when I want that unique blend of eye candy and mindless violence.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 21, 2008 10:56 AM PDT up reply actions
I wonder if I'm the only one
Who doesn't even find her to be all that good looking.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 21, 2008 10:43 AM PDT up reply actions
what
incredibly stupid things has she said? she seems rather on the intelligent side of actors and actresses.
also, she was excellent in her small bit for Paris, Je T'aime. She was sweet in Mars Attacks! and really hasn't been given enough opportunities to decide.
I sure wish that Ort Cloud would form a solid sphere to enter into this team's orbit.
by SloIsLonelyForTheOrange on Mar 21, 2008 11:03 AM PDT up reply actions
"Oh my God! I'm not black, but I know what it feels like!" for starters
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 21, 2008 11:06 AM PDT up reply actions
In her defense
From Wiki: "The 'it' I was referring to when I said, 'I know what it feels like,' was not intended to signify that I know 'how black people feel,' but rather that I know what Du Bois’ concept of double-consciousness feels like, in variation. Had my quote included what I actually said preceding that statement, perhaps my meaning would have been clearer."
But yeah, she's annoying.
You deserve to be struck out, when your first name's a verb.
I really
don't find her annoying at all. She's well educated, a decent film actress (star wars/garden state aside) an excellent stage actress, and her digital short bit on SNL was absolute genius.
I sure wish that Ort Cloud would form a solid sphere to enter into this team's orbit.
by SloIsLonelyForTheOrange on Mar 21, 2008 12:25 PM PDT up reply actions
She just talks too much.
About stuff she doesn't understand.
I don't wanna start a political argument, but there's a certain quote in which she amazingly oversimplifies a certain complicated political situation in a certain country.
[Spoiler Alert]
Plus her death scene in SW I or II was the worst death scene ever by a large margin.
[Spoiler end here]
You deserve to be struck out, when your first name's a verb.
She has a bad habit of doing that, yes.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 21, 2008 1:19 PM PDT up reply actions
I appreciate these movies becuase I watch them with my Kid (well not RotS, yet). Yeah, they suck, but they are better then typical kid cartoon crap. It's just a matter of expectation.
And Zen is the winner !
It is just a matter of expectation.
My thoughts exactly. When you see an action movie, you really should not be looking for significant life changing dialogue. When you see a movie made from a Marvel graphic novel you should not be expecting Gone with the Wind.
You might get that occasionally if you are lucky. Mrs. NVSFG and I have this type of discussion often.
She-"That was terrible !" . Me- " It was a movie about a bad guy that wants to blow up the world, and the good guys are trying to stop him ! " She- "Well....It was still awful". She also has a weird pre-occupation that all of the issues be completely resolved by the end of the film.
Just a matter of expectations. Sometimes it's just entertainment, a movie. Other times it is a Film .
My adopted son Matt Downs. Bococks up, why not Downs ? Bocock Jokes in the sig line :-)
Sure, expectation alters your perception
I think most people understand this. I know that I, at least, judge movies partially based upon what I am expecting to get out of them. For instance, I love the original Die Hard. It might just be the best action movie I've ever seen. I realize that it's not a smart movie or anything. But I think it's good.
But I absolutely despise every Steven Segal film I've ever seen (and have stopped watching them altogether). They're essentially the same genre, and neither of them are smart or anything. But I can only take so much stupidity.
The thing with the Star Wars prequels, they could have been very, very good. What we got was no where near that level. So I guess if you weren't expecting them to be good (as I was with Eps II and III after seeing the Phantom Menace) then you will have a different perception. But even though I wasn't expecting Eps II and III to be good, they were still disappointing because of what I knew they could be.
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
OK, You got me there...
There are some actors that I just can not stomach. Be it their politcal stance, personalities, or social behaviors, I almost have to be forced to view one of their movies. Steven Segal is just a douche, plain and simple. I have never watched one of his films (really !). Just can't bring myself to do it.
There are others that even though I may have political or social disagreements with them, I truly appreciate their acting. Janeane Garofolo is an example. She has a depth of character that comes through in her roles. I don't really care for her personal views, but she can often pull me in to her characters. I really don't understand it, but it works. Sean Penn is another. I will watch almost anything that he does. He's just very good at his craft. The film may be awful, but his performance is almost always worth watching. Well, except Shanghai Surprise :-)
I agree that sometimes a movie can be OK only because of our expectations of what it could be . I generally experience that with a book turned film. It may just be be me, but if I am really enjoying a book, I get a visual of the characters. It is often hard to dimiss that watching the film.
My adopted son Matt Downs. Bococks up, why not Downs ? Bocock Jokes in the sig line :-)
Somebody said "Live Free and Die Hard" above
Die Hard 2 was awful
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
Home Alone
I loved it as a kid. But now it's kind of embarrassing to watch it.
And we won't even mention Home Alone 2 and 3
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
I don't know how others feel about this one
Hook
????
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
I haven't seen it in soooooooooooo long
And I liked it at the time but I live in constant fear that if I watch it again it will just be really dreadfully awful. There's something about marbles?
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 11:06 PM PDT up reply actions
Ah
And speaking of The Lost Boys
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 11:54 PM PDT up reply actions
I still love Hook. The music is outstanding. Though Julia Roberts killed one of my absolute favorite characters of all time.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 21, 2008 8:38 AM PDT up reply actions
On my list of what makes a movie good
The music is quite a ways down there.
I suppose I should elaborate more on why I don't like Hook. The movie itself isn't terrible. It's not good, per se, but not terrible. What I don't like about the movie is the end, where Captain Hook tells Peter that he will never leave him and his family alone. They will always be in danger from him. So what does Peter do, as a loving father? He lets Hook live. Of course, the stuffed crocodile falls over and kills him in a fantastic cop out. But as a father, that killed the entire movie for me. If someone, who you know to be perfectly evil, threatens your kids and promises to never leave you alone, you do the only thing you can do to protect your family. You kill him.
And here's the clincher, the original Peter Pan story was plenty dark enough for that. It would have fit. But of course Spielberg couldn't have his hero do such a thing as to actually protect his family.
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
Now that you mention it
I don't think i've ever seen a good Jet Li movie.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 11:57 PM PDT up reply actions
Did you not see Hero?
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 21, 2008 8:38 AM PDT up reply actions
I really need to see that.
Also the upcoming film with Li and Jackie Chan should be good.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 21, 2008 10:01 AM PDT up reply actions
I'm on the fence with that one
Jackie Chan is my most favorite actor ever, and I like Jet Li. I've been waiting for the meeting of these two martial arts masters for a long time, but I dunno. I'm not sure the story will be quite there. The choreography and effects look great, but the whole transported to a far-off ancient world doesn't really do it for me. While we're at it, do we really need that kid in the movie? Nobody's going to watch the movie because of him. They should've just centered the movie around Chan and Li in the first place. And why can't the Asian guy ever be the one to get the girl?!
SAVE_US.RAY
Yeah, I share your misgivings
Still going to see it.
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
Yeah
It really, really bothered me to see that that here we were getting "Jackie Chan and Jet Li together AT LAST!" packaged in a movie where the main character is a confused white teen in China and everybody speaks English. What the heck?
At least, that's what the trailer makes it look like.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 21, 2008 11:09 AM PDT up reply actions
To be fair
The "English" thing isn't that big a problem for me. I loves me some authenticity and some damn subtitles, but American audiences at large need to be able to HEAR the English to like something, so whatever. It's a small peeve.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 21, 2008 11:10 AM PDT up reply actions
the blindfold fight
... with Yasuaki Karata is my favorite on-screen fight ever. Strangely enough, though, in a movie filled with great martial arts sequences, I found the end fight with Billy Chow kind of blah.
was: dissertating
by non sequitur on Mar 21, 2008 1:25 PM PDT up reply actions
Actually
I didn't like Hero. It wasn't bad, and it was shot remarkably well. I just thought it was a lot of pretty pretty, but it left me surprisingly empty. It was especially lost on me when I found out about some of the really great things that director has has done for Chinese cinema. For a guy who made his career making some of the most challenging, socially relevant movies in China (which got him in plenty of trouble with The Communist Party), it was strangely disaffecting to see him jump on the "ooo, pretty fighting" train.
I'm actually still boycotting House of Flying Daggers because it looks like Hero minus all the redeeming stuff.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 21, 2008 10:31 AM PDT up reply actions
I felt Hero wasn't as good as it could have been
I agree that it was a little empty.
Still, I liked it.
I haven't watched House of Flying Daggers, either, because I don't think I would like it.
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
yes
For a guy who made his career making some of the most challenging, socially relevant movies in China (which got him in plenty of trouble with The Communist Party), it was strangely disaffecting to see him jump on the "ooo, pretty fighting" train.
I've had this conversation with friends more than once. I find it hard to reconcile this guy with the one who made Raise the Red Lantern back in the 90s.
was: dissertating
by non sequitur on Mar 21, 2008 1:28 PM PDT up reply actions
I would refer you to my response directly above this which discusses this very movie.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 21, 2008 10:48 AM PDT up reply actions
Romeo Must Die
Even worse.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 21, 2008 8:38 AM PDT up reply actions
I didn't mind that one so much
Now Cradle to the Grave on the other hand...
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
The whole time when we were cracking on the movie I insisted the diamonds were an alternative fuel source. I was sad when it was revealed at the end.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 21, 2008 9:54 AM PDT up reply actions
Also
I've seen several really bad Chuck Norris, Steven Segal and Jean Claude Van Damme movies.
In fact, i've never seen a movie by one of them that was even mediocre
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
The Cockpuncher with Segal is really good.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 20, 2008 11:54 PM PDT up reply actions
In this sam sequelly vein
Turtles in Time.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 21, 2008 12:10 AM PDT up reply actions
Turtles in Time was awesome. TMNT III, however, was poop. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gteXD_u1-9k
SAVE_US.RAY
That's what I meant, actually
I bet it's a mistake that happens almost every single time anybody mentions that movie.
Gee, I wish there was some way I could go back, delete my old comment, and replace it with a comment that didn't make that mistake... sigh, if only....
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 21, 2008 12:16 AM PDT up reply actions
Yea...
TMNT III was such a let down after the great TMNT II movie. I and II were so different styles but they were both great, serious and funny. Then they just went over the edge and died for III.
Coming to you from the Land of Many Beers
I don't like TMNT II
But I love the original live action movie.
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
OH MY FUCKING GOD
STARDUST. WHERE ROBERT DENIRO PLAYED A GAY PIRATE.
absolutely killed my spirit.
I sure wish that Ort Cloud would form a solid sphere to enter into this team's orbit.
by SloIsLonelyForTheOrange on Mar 21, 2008 12:54 AM PDT reply actions
Brazil
Where Robert DeNiro played an anarchistic , swashbuckling a/c repairman.
Aaron "Swag" Rowand
by victor frankenstein on Mar 21, 2008 2:54 AM PDT up reply actions
A lot of people love Brazil.
I think it's more weird than anything. But it has good things.
I looked up Steve Kline in the dictionary. He wasn't there. If he was, it would have said "pretty okay"
Actually
I loved it.
When the terrorists bomb the restaurant and the maitre' d pulls the partition over I roll.
Aaron "Swag" Rowand
by victor frankenstein on Mar 25, 2008 12:02 PM PDT up reply actions
we're talking about the same Brazil.. right?
the one directed by Terry Gilliam?
the one with the best art direction in history?
I even painted our waterheater ducts blue like central services new line of ducts.
"ever so cynical yet whimsical giants related signature"
by The Gene Hackman on Mar 22, 2008 12:10 PM PDT up reply actions
"So...
{adjusts harsh light directly into Cookyman's eyes} "you ADMIT that you aren't a romantic"?
Your 2011 SF Giants: the 2008 Augusta Greenjackets!
how
is adultery and nude modeling romantic?
I sure wish that Ort Cloud would form a solid sphere to enter into this team's orbit.
by SloIsLonelyForTheOrange on Mar 21, 2008 9:30 AM PDT up reply actions
Well technically...
it was fornication, not adultery (neither character was married). And I personally don't support either behavior in real life. It was a very romantic film in the classical sense of the term.
But as a movie, Titanic did everything a great movie should do. It was well-cast. The music was transcendental. The movie played on the audience's emotions expertly. There was a Big Event. There was a love story. There were bodies flying. And it had the truly sexiest line I've ever heard in a movie, uttered by Kate Winslett: "Put your hands on me."
As stated above, it's all about one's expectations. I expected an adventure movie, and one where I already knew the ending. I got way more than I expected.
Your 2011 SF Giants: the 2008 Augusta Greenjackets!
Yeah, it's not a very good movie
But i wouldn't call it terrible
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
No not terrible
But so overrated. It took "The Departed" to make me like DiCaprio again.
You deserve to be struck out, when your first name's a verb.
Um..
Speed 2: CRUISE CONTROL is probably the worst movie I've ever seen.
It's Speed... but on a BOAT.
I love Willem Defoe but even he couldn't save that movie.
http://www.baycityball.com
See "Wild At Heart" ref. below...
...if you truly love DaFoe , that's a must - see.
That is , if you think he'd be perfect as the slimiest character this side of Jabba.
Aaron "Swag" Rowand
by victor frankenstein on Mar 21, 2008 8:08 AM PDT up reply actions
I saw "Jumper" two weeks ago
Not the worst movie ever, but definitely one of most incoherent, illogical, holes-filled plots ever written.
And somehow, Hayden Christensen managed to out-crap his performance in "SW II: Attack of the Clones".
You deserve to be struck out, when your first name's a verb.
Anyone ever seen..
UHF? late 80s Weird Al movie? That's on the verge of being so bad it's good, but doesn't quite make it there so it's just bad.
Coming to you from the Land of Many Beers
HEY KIDS! WHERE DO YOU WANNA GO?
STANLEY SPUDOWSKI'S CLUBHOUSE!!!!!!!!
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 21, 2008 8:43 AM PDT up reply actions
C'mon , Wal , you think we're that old?
How about Wild At Heart , where Laura Dern makes a clean breast of her mother's dominance?
Aaron "Swag" Rowand
by victor frankenstein on Mar 21, 2008 8:01 AM PDT up reply actions
So many "C'mon"s flying at ya...
...you'd think you were in a video for the Raspberries' Go All The Way...
Aaron "Swag" Rowand
by victor frankenstein on Mar 21, 2008 8:03 AM PDT up reply actions
That is one of my favorite movies ever. The commentary track on the DVD is hilarious. It's Weird Al just talking. Gold.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 21, 2008 8:43 AM PDT up reply actions
Most of the movies listed above are actually somewhat watchable
a truely bad movie is one which is so boring you can't even make fun of it.
Example: Manos, the Hands of Fate. This was so BAD even MST3K couldn't make it watchable.
Not MST3K category (although certainly worthy): "Barn of the Naked Dead". There's no Naked. There's really not even much Dead. There is, however, a Barn. Of the people whom I saw this with - the only movie to surpass it in awfulness was the Twin Peaks movie (Fire Walk with Me) - and this is from Lynch fans. I didn't ever see it, though, so I can't really claim it's the worst of all time.
One of the worse movies, relative to my expectations: "Sum of All Fears" - this movie features the Atomic destruction of Baltimore! And it STILL sucks.
Fire Walk With Me
It's not horrible, but it had to be amazingly disappointing for people who expected it to tie up some of the storylines from the TV show (it doesn't - any of them). I know that's why I hated this movie the first time I saw it. But I went back and watched it a few years later, knowing what to expect, and it's not really that bad. Definitely not his best, but not "Dune" either.
DUNE
...watching DUNE will make you feel relatively good about any artistic mistakes you have ever made.
"ever so cynical yet whimsical giants related signature"
by The Gene Hackman on Mar 22, 2008 10:59 AM PDT up reply actions
I move around a lot and I can usually find several friends to watch this movie with me every other year or so.
They tried and failed?
They tried and died!
by paboperfecto on Mar 24, 2008 6:14 AM PDT up reply actions
Mulholland Dr.
As I've mentioned in a previous post, I hated Mulholland Dr. I rented it because of the rave reviews quoted on the cover, claiming that it was "hypnotic" "beautiful" and "suspenseful". Talk about false advertising! The beginning is somewhat interesting, but it quickly deteriorates into a confusing, tedious, rambling mess. I kept hoping that it would improve, but it didn't. Sitting through this film was an unpleasant experience...
Then
Then don't watch Inland Empire. It's all those things, and 3 hours long to boot.
David Lynch is just not for everybody. I am one of those people.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 26, 2008 11:48 AM PDT up reply actions
Barn of the Naked Dead
"I can name two things wrong with the title of that movie." - Nelson
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 21, 2008 10:40 AM PDT up reply actions
It's from the Simpsons
Nelson says it after coming out of the theater from watching Naked Lunch.
It's one of my favorite lines of all time on that show.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 21, 2008 1:19 PM PDT up reply actions
this is gonna turn into a snuff film, isn't it?
I love the MST3K version of Manos.
Pod People is a close second.
In my circle of friends I'm occasionally introduced as "The Manos Guy".
feliz gone, team still bad
Prince of Space was good, as was the MST3K movie.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 21, 2008 12:02 PM PDT up reply actions
I Can't Believe No One Mentioned
Real Genius yet. One of the best "bad" good movies of the 1980's.
Wait a minute....many you guys wern't even born in the 80's were you.
Sigh...So old :-)
My adopted son Matt Downs. Bococks up, why not Downs ? Bocock Jokes in the sig line :-)
pompous piece of asshattery charading as a movie
my dinner with andre.
awful awful awful film.
I sure wish that Ort Cloud would form a solid sphere to enter into this team's orbit.
by SloIsLonelyForTheOrange on Mar 21, 2008 10:01 AM PDT reply actions
HA
I remember friends of mine making jokes about creating My Dinner with Andre action figures.
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
differentiate
I think that there's bad movies, and then there's movies you don't enjoy.
I didn't enjoy Blood Diamond, it had an unfavorable hype to quality ratio but it wasn't really a bad movie.
Then you have your Dungeons and Dragons, your Battlefield Earth.
If you want a bad one, give Tiptoes a run. It's a rare specimen these days, an awful movie THAT HAS NO IDEA HOW BAD IT IS.
feliz gone, team still bad
by oldjacket on Mar 21, 2008 10:43 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Don't diss Dungeons & Dragons!!!!
That movie was complete with Wil Wheaton!
Will Wheaton! Come on, man, what more do you want?
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 21, 2008 10:45 AM PDT up reply actions
PUKE!
that movie was one of the least competant things ever done with a camera.
Wesley Crusher only compounds the severity of the crime
feliz gone, team still bad
jeremy irons has done some bad bad movies.
eragon?
I sure wish that Ort Cloud would form a solid sphere to enter into this team's orbit.
by SloIsLonelyForTheOrange on Mar 21, 2008 11:05 AM PDT up reply actions
I have
I have a DEEP DEEP DEEP DEEP hatred and loathing for anything Eragon.
It's the crappiest crap shit ever to be crapshitted.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 21, 2008 11:12 AM PDT up reply actions
If you only punch one of the following in the face, which would you chose?
1. Eragon
2. World Hunger
http://www.baycityball.com
Eragon.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 21, 2008 11:16 AM PDT up reply actions
Oh yeah I forgot
I'm one of 3 Wesley Crusher fans...
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 21, 2008 10:58 AM PDT up reply actions
I'm pretty sure he's not one.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 21, 2008 11:00 AM PDT up reply actions
I know Gene Roddenberry was a Wesley Crusher fan
Considering that's essentially how he viewed himself as a kid
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
Wesley Crusher is on my Bottom Ten
1. The taste of Sea Urchin
2. Tommy Lasorda
3. How Bizarre
4. The Eagles
5. Batman & Robin
6. Bai Jiu (Chinese sorghum whiskey, tastes like compost)
7. People who honk as soon as the light turns green
8. David Schwimmer (Sp? I don't care)
9. Wesley Crusher
10. Pointlessly complicated Starbucks drinks.
feliz gone, team still bad
That List
is so full of awesome !
My adopted son Matt Downs. Bococks up, why not Downs ? Bocock Jokes in the sig line :-)
awesome?
as in you like to drink Baijiu with Tommy Lasorda while watching Batman & Robin and eating Sea Urchin?
Or it's awesome that I hate those things?
If it's the latter, thank you.
feliz gone, team still bad
Awesome as in
unbelievable list of good hate !
My adopted son Matt Downs. Bococks up, why not Downs ? Bocock Jokes in the sig line :-)
Agreed - "there's bad movies, and then there's movies you don't enjoy"
"Great Movie" that I hated:
The English Patient. Yes, it won many awards (41 according to IMDB), but sitting through it in a movie theater was torturous. It was so slow and rambling that I was crawling out of my seat with boredom. Had my wife not been sitting next to me enjoying it, I would have surely walked out before it was half over.
Just Plain Bad Movie: (even if most viewers seem to disagree)
Titus - This was a terrible, rambling, disjointed, and boring excuse for a movie. I rented it because of the cast (Anthony Hopkins & Jessica Lange), and because of the description on the DVD case.
In this horrible misinterpretation of Shakespeare there are people dressed as ancient Romans, riding around on motorcycles and in cars, speaking in some ancient tongue. I don't mind the idea of updating a Shakespeare theme and creating a modern-day version of the story. However, either keep it classic or make it modern. Don't attempt to be "artsy" by combining the two, because in this case the result is a mixed up mess.
I didn't make it more than halfway through this film before ejecting it in disgust.
Dumb (but fun) Movie:
Napoleon Dynamite - Sure, it was inane, and a 27 year old playing a high school student is implausible, but I enjoyed it. It was actually more fun to quote lines from than it was to watch.
As a Pretender fan
While I wasn't enthusiastic about Napoleon Dynamite, I was just glad to see Broots getting some good work.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 26, 2008 12:51 PM PDT up reply actions
You know
Whenever I come across someone who didn't like Napoleon Dynamite I find it very difficult to explain why I liked it. I just did.
And it's exceptionally fun to quote with others who like it too.
Only 972 games until the end of Zito's contract.
In Titus' defense
Or, I guess, in the filmmakers' defense, it's not a very good play. I thought most things on their end - cinematography, set design, acting - were all pretty good, but I don't know if I'd recommend it to anybody but a hardcore Shakespeare nut.
The Protector
Was pretty lousy. It stars Tony Jaa and is directed by the same director of Ong Bak, Jaa's previous mindblowing martial arts bonanza (complete with a scene where Jaa fights dudes with his legs on fire--I kid you not). While Ong Bak was outstanding, The protector wasn not. The plot was very thin and essentially went nowhere. The fight scenes are top notch, but the rest of it sucks. There was a scene with guys riding on Segways to add unintentional (?) comedy.
Maybe I was disappointed because I had high hopes after Ong Bak. Maybe it's just a piss poor movie.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 21, 2008 11:21 AM PDT reply actions
Has anyone seen the Dane Cook movie that came out this past year with Jessica Alba? It looked horrendous.
Also, I hate Dane Cook.
http://www.baycityball.com
I will not watch anything with Dane Cook. The only exception was Dan In Real Life and that was because I didn't know he was in it. Fortunately, he wasn't too terrible in it.
SAVE_US.RAY
I've heard he's actually good in Mr. Brooks.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 21, 2008 11:34 AM PDT up reply actions
Becaue he was killed.
"Don't trust anyone under the age of 30" - Brian Sabean
by Smotheredinhugs on Mar 21, 2008 11:36 AM PDT up reply actions
Sad but true
his performance in Mr. Brooks was very good. Almost mad me hate him less.
My adopted son Matt Downs. Bococks up, why not Downs ? Bocock Jokes in the sig line :-)
i hated to like him
but he's actually a halfway decent actor. Good energy, always.
He's still a horrible horrible offense to comedy and humankind.
I sure wish that Ort Cloud would form a solid sphere to enter into this team's orbit.
by SloIsLonelyForTheOrange on Mar 21, 2008 12:28 PM PDT up reply actions
Also Waiting was hilarious, and I didn't realize Cook was in the movie until I saw the credits roll. He wasn't too annoying in the film, though probably because he didn't have much screentime.
Cook did the voice over for the guy in the hot dog costume in Mr. 3000. The guy actually in the suit was the film's director.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 21, 2008 11:36 AM PDT up reply actions
Love Don't Cost A Thing... FTW
Starring Nick Cannon & Christina Milian
Nuff Said
Apparently it was a remake of Can't Buy Me Love. I guess.
Me and my buddy laughed so hard from watching this train wreck., I hurt my right oblique muscle.
Idolizing the Nuschler Face since April 8, 1986 / GIANTSPACE™ returns!
by SoFa King Mike on Mar 21, 2008 11:34 AM PDT reply actions
Also on the bad-bad list...
Step Up
Save the Last Dance
Pretty much any teen-related, dancing movie.
SAVE_US.RAY
But what about Step Up 2 The Streets?
I mean, you have to admit that was a modern masterpiece.
I looked up Steve Kline in the dictionary. He wasn't there. If he was, it would have said "pretty okay"
That was just beyond epic
You know how they say the original is better than the sequel? Well, SU2TS totally blows that cliche out of the water! Or should I say... SERVES IT. I can't wait for 321 Step Up: Tokyo Drift.
SAVE_US.RAY
i think it got buried in other comments
but the worst movie ever is "Loser" with the pie fornicator from American Pie.
hands down made me want to write a letter to the makers of it so i could ask for 2+ hours of my life back.
Death at a Funeral is a great movie. I saw it in England and bought it here a couple weeks ago.
Bengie Molina: stretching doubles into singles since 1998.
I felt very indifferent toward that movie.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 21, 2008 4:02 PM PDT up reply actions
Airplane and Naked Gun Ripoffs
These movies were brilliant, and there have been dozens and dozens of movies that have tried to copy them and failed miserably. The worst of the worst?? "The Comebacks." A comedy that didn't even make me smile the entire movie. Yet like an idiot, I'll go see that latest attempt "Superhero Movie" due out next week.
Randy Messenger: "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!!"
At the very least
Superhero Movie is the Zucker team. It might still be crap, but it stands the vaguest of chances for having that team behind it.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 22, 2008 10:08 AM PDT up reply actions
some people feel this way about...
...Crimson Tide.
the informed among us know that this was one of my finest performances, opposite a young D. Washington.
"He's fueling his missiles, WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO FUCK AROUND!"
"ever so cynical yet whimsical giants related signature"
by The Gene Hackman on Mar 22, 2008 10:56 AM PDT reply actions
American Psycho II
especially after how great American Psycho was. So very lame....
"Why you gotta be cardin' my hos?" - Charlie Hayes
Yeah it sucked
The book was way better, though. They totally messed up BEE's tone in the second movie.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Mar 25, 2008 7:50 AM PDT up reply actions
Oh man I blocked that one out of my head. The first one was awesome and hilarious and quotable and then the second one was just plain awful. Plus there was no Christian Bale. Why even bother?
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 25, 2008 8:50 AM PDT up reply actions
for the love of william shatner!!
you just upset every trekkie at this site. try an american psycho 2 / free enterprise double feature. puts it all in perspective.
Late for the thread
First: you want to talk about out of place in a thread. I don't watch very many movies (as in, five a year? Maybe? That includes rentals and theater).
That said, here are a couple of clunkers out of my past:
Shallow Hal (I saw this by myself because of the stupid ads on the side of the Muni)
Young Einstein? Is that what it's called ... with the afro'ed Australian guy. He's just too g.d. loud.
Adopted son Notgardo tearing up Spring Training ... that's tearing as in tears. Make mama proud!
prince and baseball
I am a devoted Prince fan, so I can say with all certainty that Graffiti Bridge is the worst movie ever. I saw it opening weekend, and the audience actually cheered when the supposed heroine dies at the end.
And I can't believe that no one at a baseball website thought to mention The Slugger's Wife. I think Ted Turner even refused to play it on TBS back in the day.
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