What is...

There's a "gamer" commercial aired every 10 minutes on KNBR. There's probably one on right now. If you live outside the Bay Area, you might not know what the "gamer" ad campaign is. It goes something like this:

What is a gamer?

A gamer is someone who isn't afraid to get their uniform dirty...

A gamer is always focused...

A gamer would slit your throat to take the extra bag, and he'd wear your intestines like a scarf while he did it...

A gamer swallows rosin bags and secretes rosin when he sweats because playing with a rosin bag makes a fella look like he's putting on makeup....

That's the Giants' marketing campaign. A "gamer" bus followed me to work today. It had a picture of Omar Vizquel, and it read something like, "OMAR VIZQUEL: GAMER!" It frightened me.

Now, I understand that the marketing department had a tough task. The team ain't no good. It's tough to build excitement with "ain't no good." But this is the most irritating ad campaign in the history of history.

It does give us a perfect opportunity to create a lengthy list of "Gamer Facts", though. My brain still isn't working after the flu, so I'll just kick it off with one Gamer Fact:

A gamer bunts every chance he gets. Unless he's playing pepper. Because that's when he starts swinging for the fences.

What is a gamer, o denizens of McCovey Chronicles? I feel that the ads aren't telling us everything....

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