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This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke.

174246766_ea2fd78204_tiny by Grant on in News Comment 200 comments

The latest literary craze sweeping the world: Your life in six words. Ernest Hemingway started the format when he wrote:

Take a swing at me, p***y.
The asterisk wasn't invented yet, so that isn't exactly authentic, but you get the idea. I figured I could continue my tradition of trying to shoehorn something into a Giants context whether it fits or not. For example, Jonathan Sanchez:
Started, relieved. Relieved, started. Reliever? Starter?
Dan Ortmeier:
Only young player starting. Wait, what?
And the team as a whole:
Meal ticket indicted. Team even worse.
If the contest were extended to just nine or ten words, things would get easier.
A man, a plan, a canal, Ray Durham sucks.
But that's kind of the point. It's tough to say a lot in six words, and I'm the first to admit that concision is not my strong point. I'm not really good at this.

You probably are, though. And, let's face it, your collective commenting wit is one of the biggest reasons people visit the site. The McCovey Chronicles focus group put "collective commenting wit" right after "seeing what's going on in the world of ticket broker text links." So, we'll make a contest. Summarize a player, management-type, or the entire team in six words.

For the purposes of this site, trying to summarize the upcoming season or past season is just as valid as trying to summarize a career. Respond to the best entry with one of those horrid "+1" things, and the winner will win the right to purchase a spring training package at their own expense.

0 recs | Comment 200 comments

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my 6
Rebuilding.  Sabean unclear on the concept.
2002? I'm over it. But I'll never be over Rich Aurilia.

by wjackalope on Feb 7, 2008 7:42 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

My Six
Aaron Rowand
       Size Twenty Heart, Size Ten Talent.
My adopted son Matt Downs. Because face it, everybody else was already taken by the time I got here.

by nvsfg on Feb 7, 2008 7:48 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

variant, for Bruce Bochy
Size Twenty Head, Size Ten Talent
2008: The year the Giants begin to stop sucking.

by EliminateMe on Feb 7, 2008 11:39 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: variant, for Bruce Bochy
Well Played Sir !
My adopted son Matt Downs. He's sort of like Bill Mueller without the "two flap" helmet.

by nvsfg on Feb 7, 2008 2:42 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Barry Zito

Couldn't hit 86 mph on the freeway.

Please don't trade Cain or Lincecum!

by BondOrBust on Feb 7, 2008 7:50 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
That's so cheating! First, you use 7 words, and you use a contraction for two words and an abbreviation for three!

Could not hit 86 miles per hour on the freeway... thats like ten words! Listen, if I wanted to read a novel I would have picked up one of those things that has words in it on pages and stuff.

He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 7, 2008 8:28 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Someone not get there coffee this morning or just haven't been laid this mileneum (are you going to get me on my spelling too?)
Please don't trade Cain or Lincecum!

by BondOrBust on Feb 7, 2008 10:49 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Nah, I don't drink coffee in the morning. Weird habit I got into in college.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 7, 2008 11:01 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re:
We won't do work for you!
Coming to you from the Land of Many Beers

by WalrusMan on Feb 7, 2008 7:55 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re:
Nice!  Alternative:

Grant's mailing it in once again

I'm Goofus McPenisbutter and I approve this message.

by Goofus on Feb 7, 2008 11:59 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Thank you..
Finally someone caught on that it was 6 words.
Coming to you from the Land of Many Beers

by WalrusMan on Feb 7, 2008 5:12 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Young'uns fine.  Wins eighty-nine. Bloggers whine.

by campanari on Feb 7, 2008 7:57 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Do you really think I'll whine if the Giants win 89 games? Really? That's disappointing.

by Grant on Feb 7, 2008 8:54 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Burma Shave.
Sent my adopted child Notgardo south for the winter. Holing up in The City with knitting for the rainy- and off-season. It's been a very good year...

by tk on Feb 7, 2008 11:20 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Clutch hitting, terrific pitching.  Bloggers bitching.

by campanari on Feb 7, 2008 8:03 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
campanari doesn't realize this team sucks.

That's... that's six, right?

He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 7, 2008 8:24 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Yes, howtheyscored is a contraction hypocrite.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 7, 2008 8:29 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
campanari: sabean pseudonym, ain't foolin me
you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area

by nick on Feb 7, 2008 4:23 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Dusty Baker:
Let's kill young pitchers with potential.
Giant Expectations

by UnleashTheGore on Feb 7, 2008 8:16 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Dusty Baker:
It's a remarkably clever murder weapon. They don't even have that in Clue.

Colonel Mustard in the Observatory with Potential. Nobody would ever win!

He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 7, 2008 8:54 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Dusty Baker:
Although potentially, the potential to use potential as a potential weapon would be a potentially disastrous overuse of the word potential. Potentially speaking, of course.
Giant Expectations

by UnleashTheGore on Feb 7, 2008 9:47 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Another
At least the park kicks ass.
2002? I'm over it. But I'll never be over Rich Aurilia.

by wjackalope on Feb 7, 2008 8:18 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Bad joke, worse joke.
Smart Over/Under on wins: 70
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 7, 2008 8:26 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Bad joke, worse joke.
this one might be my favorite so far.
2002? I'm over it. But I'll never be over Rich Aurilia.

by wjackalope on Feb 7, 2008 10:52 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Bad joke, worse joke.
hmm.. if you take off the "so far" from my last comment, it could double as a really sarcastic statement about the 2008 Giants.
2002? I'm over it. But I'll never be over Rich Aurilia.

by wjackalope on Feb 7, 2008 11:43 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

This site: Bad joke, poor anal
Nate Schierholtz:

Triple A All The Way, Baby!

He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 7, 2008 8:30 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I'm inspired
A bunch of quadruple A players.
2002? I'm over it. But I'll never be over Rich Aurilia.

by wjackalope on Feb 7, 2008 10:52 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I got it
The team, in 6 words or less:

Your San Francisco Giants.

He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 7, 2008 8:32 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The former Pedro Fleas
Eat cheesesteak, field cleanly, await GIDP.
Derin McMains had five fingers, but he only used three.

by oooreebay on Feb 7, 2008 8:35 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

a tad outdated
Felix Rodriguez: another fastball, another whiplash.
I traded Cody Ransom for Khalil Greene in my PS2 EA Sports MLB'04 game because he sucked there too.

by rock n jock on Feb 7, 2008 8:43 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Here's Mine
Roberts, Durham, Aurilia...Do Chores instead

by Make me an Offer on Feb 7, 2008 8:45 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

one joke, two joke, red joke, blue joke
Everything Giants:

Dead horse .gif free with purchase.

He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 7, 2008 8:49 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Zito, Durham, Roberts, Aurillia... Why me?

by peteisathug on Feb 7, 2008 8:50 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Bad joke
Remember Splash Hits? Yeah, me too.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 7, 2008 8:50 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Armando:
Eats lard filled burritos. Looses games.

by Scottsdale on Feb 7, 2008 8:53 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Looses pants, as well. Too tight.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 7, 2008 8:55 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Six words
"Sabean, the Lunatic Fringe was right!"
"I think I'd trust Amy Winehouse to guard my bag of coke before I'd trust Sabes to build my offense." -Dan Szymborski, Baseball Think Factory

by Lyle on Feb 7, 2008 8:56 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Subject Header
On Goofus:

Ever optimistic, pretty good realist too.

He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 7, 2008 8:57 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Hey!
What happened to my comment after I clicked post?! That's supposed to read: "Big jerk. Jerky jerk jerk jerk-o."
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 7, 2008 8:58 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Hey!
Six words:

Goofus, failed as Howie's "life coach"

I'm Goofus McPenisbutter and I approve this message.

by Goofus on Feb 7, 2008 11:58 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Hey!
Mentors always blame self. Mentees? Likewise.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 7, 2008 12:37 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

battle royal
The crab over lou seal everytime.
I traded Cody Ransom for Khalil Greene in my PS2 EA Sports MLB'04 game because he sucked there too.

by rock n jock on Feb 7, 2008 8:57 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: battle royal
edit 'anytime'
I traded Cody Ransom for Khalil Greene in my PS2 EA Sports MLB'04 game because he sucked there too.

by rock n jock on Feb 7, 2008 9:10 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: battle royal
+Crab
"Candlestick made me a man." - Will Clark

by MeSoKrabby on Feb 7, 2008 10:01 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke.
David homesick. Howie puns. Lyle struggles.
"I think I'd trust Amy Winehouse to guard my bag of coke before I'd trust Sabes to build my offense." -Dan Szymborski, Baseball Think Factory

by Lyle on Feb 7, 2008 9:00 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Six more words
Giants: We play pretty one day.
"I think I'd trust Amy Winehouse to guard my bag of coke before I'd trust Sabes to build my offense." -Dan Szymborski, Baseball Think Factory

by Lyle on Feb 7, 2008 9:06 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Unfortunately...
That one day will be May 7 at Pittsburgh.
With the season over, I release my adoptee Brian Sabean. Good luck in the world, little buddy.

by Mayor of 311 on Feb 7, 2008 4:49 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

My meager offering
Sabean, Feliz: repeatedly reaching for  misses.

by daveinexile on Feb 7, 2008 9:12 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

08 & 09 iGnats
gun to my head: yes please
"cynical yet whimsical giants related signature"

by The Gene Hackman on Feb 7, 2008 9:12 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Or if you prefer: Re: sabagowan
my dog could field that team
"cynical yet whimsical giants related signature"

by The Gene Hackman on Feb 7, 2008 9:14 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

5 words is doable if you plagiarize
offense missing, please call owner

once great franchise, slightly used

there is no pain greater than being behind the Rockies in the standings

by oldjacket on Feb 7, 2008 9:13 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

SF Giants baseball
Pitchers nibble, hitters swing at anything.

by Evan on Feb 7, 2008 9:15 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

his season.
losses take less than two hours
there is no pain greater than being behind the Rockies in the standings

by oldjacket on Feb 7, 2008 9:16 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

+1
Didn't you used to be Barry Zito?

by VidaWantsYourCar on Feb 7, 2008 10:02 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

referring to last year's trash throwing incident
Garbage on field: thrown, and purchased.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Feb 7, 2008 9:17 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Or, when bad pop culture jokes strike
Giants: no country for young men.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Feb 7, 2008 9:18 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Or, when bad pop culture jokes strike
bien hecho
"cynical yet whimsical giants related signature"

by The Gene Hackman on Feb 7, 2008 9:37 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

why is my subject too long
For the team:

At least the games are short.

Centerfielders?  Yeah, we got that.

For Bochy:

When his head rolls, watch out!

by zenbitz on Feb 7, 2008 9:19 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Dave Roberts fast? In Sabean's world.
Angel Villalona: A younger, better hitting Pedro Feliz. Rajai Davis: A younger, better everything Dave Roberts.

by AngelintheInfield on Feb 7, 2008 9:21 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
gotta be when time's chasing him
you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area

by nick on Feb 7, 2008 4:29 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
sabean plays creon in modern antigone
my non-baseball friends think im listening to art bell all the time when they hear "giant spaceball is on the air"

by son of riles on Feb 7, 2008 9:22 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Antigone
Go into a auto supply place sometime and ask for "an-TIH-frah-zee."  This was considered witty in college.  (Well, not really, but it was a sophisticated jape in AP English in high school.)
With the season over, I release my adoptee Brian Sabean. Good luck in the world, little buddy.

by Mayor of 311 on Feb 7, 2008 4:52 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Antigone
In my high school English class, we found "on-wheels Antigone" inexplicably funny. Clearly, you and I hung with equally nerdy crowds.
2008: The year the Giants begin to stop sucking.

by EliminateMe on Feb 7, 2008 5:01 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Yes. Thank god we ditched the nerds. (cough)
With the season over, I release my adoptee Brian Sabean. Good luck in the world, little buddy.

by Mayor of 311 on Feb 8, 2008 2:48 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
juan pierre = my skillz plus million$
you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area

by nick on Feb 7, 2008 4:30 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
jason schmidt = one tear from amputation
you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area

by nick on Feb 7, 2008 4:31 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
joe torre = baseball's fred thompson (ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ)
you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area

by nick on Feb 7, 2008 4:31 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
andy laroche = thank fuck he's blocked
you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area

by nick on Feb 7, 2008 4:32 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
The six words that can best describe this season is your user name.

by blank on Feb 8, 2008 8:10 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Cheap Shot at Sabean's MVP
Bengie Molina:  Eat less, walk more.
Here's to Kemp, Loney, LaRoche, Hu, and Kershaw not panning out.

by Woody Wins on Feb 7, 2008 9:23 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Note to Aaron Rowand: Walls hurt.
Angel Villalona: A younger, better hitting Pedro Feliz. Rajai Davis: A younger, better everything Dave Roberts.

by AngelintheInfield on Feb 7, 2008 9:25 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Sabean's plan: Vesting options for Zombies.

Sorry, this was fun. That was my last one.

Angel Villalona: A younger, better hitting Pedro Feliz. Rajai Davis: A younger, better everything Dave Roberts.

by AngelintheInfield on Feb 7, 2008 9:31 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Boo me, Trade me, Pay me.

--- Armando ---

by Whipping Boy on Feb 7, 2008 9:31 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

more mando (too easy)
YOU OWE ME ONE JELLY DONUT
"cynical yet whimsical giants related signature"

by The Gene Hackman on Feb 7, 2008 9:36 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Ok, I lied.

Matt Cain: Run support? What's that?

Angel Villalona: A younger, better hitting Pedro Feliz. Rajai Davis: A younger, better everything Dave Roberts.

by AngelintheInfield on Feb 7, 2008 9:38 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
cain: twenty losses, cy young anyway
you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area

by nick on Feb 7, 2008 4:33 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
garlic fries distract homerun  eating vampires
my non-baseball friends think im listening to art bell all the time when they hear "giant spaceball is on the air"

by son of riles on Feb 7, 2008 10:00 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
+74

so chosen for the giants' likely HR total

you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area

by nick on Feb 7, 2008 4:34 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Read the Signs
Joe Angel, Gary Park, Joe Angel
Didn't you used to be Barry Zito?

by VidaWantsYourCar on Feb 7, 2008 10:01 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Read the Signs
Art Eckman, David Glass, Phil Stone

by drysdalecousin on Feb 7, 2008 6:01 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

2008 Giants Baseball
There will be blood, Dodgers suck.
"I'd take pleasure in gutting you boy" Oh and ignore the spelling. I do.....

by someguynamedg on Feb 7, 2008 10:01 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

2007 San Francisco Giants
At least we have McCovey Chronicles
"Candlestick made me a man." - Will Clark

by MeSoKrabby on Feb 7, 2008 10:05 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: 2007 San Francisco Giants
Wait, what year is this?
"Candlestick made me a man." - Will Clark

by MeSoKrabby on Feb 7, 2008 10:06 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: 2007 San Francisco Giants
Year doesn't matter, losing is timeless.
Rajai Davis: fast.

by Mike Benjamin Hit King on Feb 7, 2008 10:17 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The Giants:
We proudly accept members of AARP.
I'm a Giants fan because my dad realized at a very young age that the Phillies suck.

by oneflapdown on Feb 7, 2008 10:25 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Peter Magowan
My GM's breath smells like catfood.
"cynical yet whimsical giants related signature"

by The Gene Hackman on Feb 7, 2008 10:29 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Brian Wilson
A B C: Always Be Closing
"cynical yet whimsical giants related signature"

by The Gene Hackman on Feb 7, 2008 10:30 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Giants:

Lince, Cain and pray for rain

by bisquik on Feb 7, 2008 10:33 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I was gonna say
I'll watch twice weekly: Lincecum, Cain.
2002? I'm over it. But I'll never be over Rich Aurilia.

by wjackalope on Feb 7, 2008 10:51 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

From the upper deck
But look at that view
Didn't you used to be Barry Zito?

by VidaWantsYourCar on Feb 7, 2008 10:43 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Matt Cain hero, loses one-zero
Bochy: grounded until he stops hitting and running with slow runners and crappy hitters

by Stuttering John Tamargo on Feb 7, 2008 10:44 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Bad beats.  Many defeats.  Empty seats.
2002? I'm over it. But I'll never be over Rich Aurilia.

by wjackalope on Feb 7, 2008 10:56 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Some more
Giants don't score, pitchers get sore

Bengie Molina number 5 hitter.  Ow.

Yearn for days of Todd Benzinger

Piershitski strikes gold, Giants get shaft

Bochy: grounded until he stops hitting and running with slow runners and crappy hitters

by Stuttering John Tamargo on Feb 7, 2008 11:01 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Vizquel, to Durham, to ball dropped
Look at that, he hit the f*cking bull! Guy gets a free steak!

by rocknjosie on Feb 7, 2008 11:01 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Jon Miller
Vote Big Kahuna for next general manager.
"cynical yet whimsical giants related signature"

by The Gene Hackman on Feb 7, 2008 11:02 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Jon Miller
minus seven
you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area

by nick on Feb 7, 2008 4:36 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke.
2008 Giants Baseball:

Much like losing at Penis Fencing.

He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 7, 2008 11:05 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke.
So I don't think I've ever actually "LOL" from the computer until this post. Kudos.
Giant Expectations

by UnleashTheGore on Feb 7, 2008 2:03 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke.
it's a grower, i mean literally
you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area

by nick on Feb 7, 2008 4:37 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

poor analysis
I've been pessimistic enough for laughs: Optimism time!

Post-season run? Sure, it could happen.

He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 7, 2008 11:08 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: poor analysis
Giants post season? Flying butt monkeys.
I'm Goofus McPenisbutter and I approve this message.

by Goofus on Feb 7, 2008 2:25 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: poor analysis
playoffs? hope we win one. playoffs??
you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area

by nick on Feb 7, 2008 4:37 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Power potential 2008
It is high! It is... oh...
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 7, 2008 11:11 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Power potential 2008
...caught by the shortstop.
I traded Cody Ransom for Khalil Greene in my PS2 EA Sports MLB'04 game because he sucked there too.

by rock n jock on Feb 7, 2008 11:50 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Your 2008 Giants
Ghosts of our past, haunt us.

Cause all we needed were 5 outs.

Hitler's favorite baseball team was the Dodgers. I'm pretty sure.

by UnderRadar on Feb 7, 2008 11:22 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Your 2008 Giants
Get rid of the "Cause" and you'll have a winner.
Bochy: grounded until he stops hitting and running with slow runners and crappy hitters

by Stuttering John Tamargo on Feb 7, 2008 11:45 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Felipe Alou
Outraged by Kruger's words, otherwise asleep.
2008: The year the Giants begin to stop sucking.

by EliminateMe on Feb 7, 2008 11:37 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Very good
Need another pitcher.  Eric Young, sit!
Bochy: grounded until he stops hitting and running with slow runners and crappy hitters

by Stuttering John Tamargo on Feb 7, 2008 11:40 AM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
2008 Giants: younger, healthier, last place.
Defender of Noah Lowry.

by Kid Fresh on Feb 7, 2008 11:47 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
+1
there is no pain greater than being behind the Rockies in the standings

by oldjacket on Feb 7, 2008 1:12 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

McCovey Chronicles 08
Lolcats and "That's what she said".
Nattowear | comics | Durham? I hardly know 'im!

by Natto on Feb 7, 2008 11:55 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Only need two words: We suck.
2002? I'm over it. But I'll never be over Rich Aurilia.

by wjackalope on Feb 7, 2008 11:58 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Pedro Feliz
Philly dirt balls now his beat.
2008: The year the Giants begin to stop sucking.

by EliminateMe on Feb 7, 2008 12:19 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Barry Bonds
Big swing, watches: high, deep, splash.
2008: The year the Giants begin to stop sucking.

by EliminateMe on Feb 7, 2008 12:19 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Dusty Baker
Enough with the damn toothpick already!
2008: The year the Giants begin to stop sucking.

by EliminateMe on Feb 7, 2008 12:20 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Dusty Baker
Flipped ball to Woody, the End.

by Whipping Boy on Feb 7, 2008 12:53 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Giants hating is in vogue: preposterous!

by GaryEdmundCarter on Feb 7, 2008 12:23 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Omar Vizquel
Dancer, on or off the field.
2008: The year the Giants begin to stop sucking.

by EliminateMe on Feb 7, 2008 12:25 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Kevin Frandsen
Second, third, whatever. Just play him.
2008: The year the Giants begin to stop sucking.

by EliminateMe on Feb 7, 2008 12:26 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Kevin Frandsen
batting fourth and pitching: kevin frandsen
you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area

by nick on Feb 7, 2008 4:39 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Brian Sabean
Kicking tires at end of day.
2008: The year the Giants begin to stop sucking.

by EliminateMe on Feb 7, 2008 12:28 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Yoda on Joe Crede:

Feliz he is not at least.

formerly April3rdLifeBegins

by YaSquare on Feb 7, 2008 12:31 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Dave Roberts
League leader in being Dave Roberts.
2008: The year the Giants begin to stop sucking.

by EliminateMe on Feb 7, 2008 12:32 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Dave Roberts
+4 (for all-time total Dave Robertses)
you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area

by nick on Feb 7, 2008 4:41 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

This site
Looking forward to 5000 word contest.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 7, 2008 12:35 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Seats empty. Wait 'til next year.

by DanMateo on Feb 7, 2008 12:44 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

This Year
Mays, McCovey, Clark, Mitchell, Bonds, Molina.
Didn't you used to be Barry Zito?

by VidaWantsYourCar on Feb 7, 2008 12:55 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This Year
Winner in the "saddest" category.
2008: The year the Giants begin to stop sucking.

by EliminateMe on Feb 7, 2008 1:36 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Opening Day
Starting in Left field, Dave Roberts
Wow, this team sucks.

by WilliamVanLandingham on Feb 7, 2008 1:04 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Opening Day
and batting fourth, catcher Benji Molina
Wow, this team sucks.

by WilliamVanLandingham on Feb 7, 2008 1:06 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

2008 Giants
Chicks dig the one-nothing loss.

by mlb22 on Feb 7, 2008 1:29 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: 2008 Giants
hahhahaha....this is better than your other one.

I'm only good at Haiku

Obama - ??? 2008 : He's not Hillary

by RangerMoto on Feb 7, 2008 2:04 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Brian Sabean
Kickin' the tires on ancient crap

by mlb22 on Feb 7, 2008 1:30 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Things to do in 2008
Remember when Barrett punched Pierzynski? Awesome!
Dodgers fans eat their young.

by redhornet78 on Feb 7, 2008 1:43 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Things to do in 2008
That was awesome, but then Zambrano beat his ass and and got him fired.
I hope we find out someday that Jeff Kent did steroids

by lincysgiants on Feb 7, 2008 4:32 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I'll Guy Fawkes You Up!
Remember, remember, meaningful games in September?
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 7, 2008 2:07 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

2008 Giants
Center fielders bustin' out all over
Nate Schierholtz cannot play third base. Nate Schierholtz cannot play third base. Steve Kline is pretty okay. Nate Schierholtz cannot play third base.

by groug on Feb 7, 2008 2:10 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Also 2008 Giants
Who needs a third baseman anyway?
Nate Schierholtz cannot play third base. Nate Schierholtz cannot play third base. Steve Kline is pretty okay. Nate Schierholtz cannot play third base.

by groug on Feb 7, 2008 2:12 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Third base
Maybe Nate Schierholtz can play there
there is no pain greater than being behind the Rockies in the standings

by oldjacket on Feb 7, 2008 2:31 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Third base
groug's head in danger of exploding
2008: The year the Giants begin to stop sucking.

by EliminateMe on Feb 7, 2008 3:10 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Third base
I must control...fist of death.
Nate Schierholtz cannot play third base. Nate Schierholtz cannot play third base. Steve Kline is pretty okay. Nate Schierholtz cannot play third base.

by groug on Feb 7, 2008 3:21 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

on whoever's playing left field
I can't believe it's not Barry.
2002? I'm over it. But I'll never be over Rich Aurilia.

by wjackalope on Feb 7, 2008 2:26 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Obscure reference describing the season:
Even sexier than Superman IV!
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 7, 2008 2:31 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Durham, Roberts, Aurilla: Denny's Senior Waffle
Zito 2008=20 wins Mark My Words 12/18/07

by ACgiant87 on Feb 7, 2008 3:01 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Math problem
Rowand can not play all positions.
Uuu.... Reebay

by 17ReasonsWhy on Feb 7, 2008 3:03 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Math problem
Calculus alone cannot solve the problem.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 7, 2008 3:06 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Giants Slogan
Triple A baseball at it's finest
Wow, this team sucks.

by WilliamVanLandingham on Feb 7, 2008 3:14 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Giants Slogan
more like florida sunshine seniors league
you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area

by nick on Feb 7, 2008 4:42 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

This thread
Some people cannot count to six.
2008: The year the Giants begin to stop sucking.

by EliminateMe on Feb 7, 2008 3:21 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

counting
yeah what is wrong with me?
"cynical yet whimsical giants related signature"

by The Gene Hackman on Feb 7, 2008 3:25 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This thread
Just remember, hyphenates don't even count.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 7, 2008 3:31 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This thread
Whoops, rather hyphenates totally count hard-core.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 7, 2008 3:34 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This thread
Counting is for communists and sissies.
Nattowear | comics | Durham? I hardly know 'im!

by Natto on Feb 7, 2008 4:38 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
2008 SF Giants

When drying paint seems too exciting.

by out machine on Feb 7, 2008 3:49 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Giants June Swoon coming too soon.

by Whipping Boy on Feb 7, 2008 4:02 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
I'd vote for this if you had said:

Giants June Swoon coming this APRIL.

I traded Cody Ransom for Khalil Greene in my PS2 EA Sports MLB'04 game because he sucked there too.

by rock n jock on Feb 7, 2008 4:23 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Randy Winn
Best Hitter in the lineup. Barf.
No longer proud Papa: SuperBAD Brad

by AndYourBirdCanSing on Feb 7, 2008 4:42 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Randy Winn
I would vote for this if you'd used a colon.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 7, 2008 5:48 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Randy Winn
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Grammar!! You evil vixen. You've destroyed me again.
No longer proud Papa: SuperBAD Brad

by AndYourBirdCanSing on Feb 7, 2008 9:25 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

linescore on march 12th
Arizona Univ. 1, SF Giants 0
you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area

by nick on Feb 7, 2008 4:45 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: linescore on march 12th
Cain: 8 IP, 15 K, L
you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area

by nick on Feb 7, 2008 4:46 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke.

Brian Wilson
One out to go! Four balls.

Brian Sabean
5/60? For Rowand, not Vlad

Ray Durham
 Ouch! Hamstring! Gone by July 31

Tim Lincecum
Feeling inappropriate love in my loins

Kevin Correia
No! Not another fastball! WHACK! Gone.

Fred Lewis
Cycle in Coors. Not much since

Kruk and Kuip
Can't watch no more! Eliminate me!

Pedro Feliz
Can pick it, not stick it

Matt Cain
Two in first. Loses two zip

Dave Roberts
You just can't steal first base.

Peter McGowan
I'm mistaken. Not what he said.

Barry Bonds
That was an intense seven years.

Just one time before I die

by Katman on Feb 7, 2008 4:47 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The ugly truth
Giants lose again, I need beer
"Candlestick made me a man." - Will Clark

by MeSoKrabby on Feb 7, 2008 4:48 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: The ugly truth
Even Cammy Blackstone is looking cute?

by mlb22 on Feb 7, 2008 5:14 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Six words: more popular than Bakula.
Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.

by jponry on Feb 7, 2008 4:54 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Mayor gets another term
Saw sunny ballpark today; renewed tix.
With the season over, I release my adoptee Brian Sabean. Good luck in the world, little buddy.

by Mayor of 311 on Feb 7, 2008 4:55 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Mayor gets another term
Proposition Ninety Three: Did not pass.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Feb 7, 2008 7:06 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Mayor gets another term
For diplomacy's sake: Mayor invites Baron
With the season over, I release my adoptee Brian Sabean. Good luck in the world, little buddy.

by Mayor of 311 on Feb 7, 2008 9:12 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke.
Sabean. Idiot. Fire the Asshat!
Why isn't Sabean held accountable for leading the Giants into many years of mediocrity???

by oldrips on Feb 7, 2008 4:59 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Hangin' our hats, ugh (6-0)
Dodgers more postseason losses since 2004

by mlb22 on Feb 7, 2008 5:20 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

giants in 08
Ninety nine losses, maybe a hundred.

by billiejameshayes on Feb 7, 2008 6:19 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: worse joke.
"Nuschler smirk nowhere to be found"

"walk, bunt, strikeout, groundout, defense...repeat!"

have you seen how big our Coke bottle is?!?

by coreal9 on Feb 7, 2008 6:20 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Croix de Candlestick for showing up.
Saving countless runs with my Brian Horwitz

by lyricalkiller on Feb 7, 2008 6:43 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Barry
Kept wrong one. Games no fun.
I got one word for you: "youneverknow"

by senorvegas on Feb 8, 2008 12:17 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Rebuilding with forty somethings since 2004.
"Branca throws..."

by Takimoto on Feb 8, 2008 1:56 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
On a Current Giant:
Continents drift, mountains erode, Benji runs.

On SF Giants history:
Willie, Bobby, Barry; Nikolai, we're waiting.

Overall:
The definitive argument against intelligent design.

by NearestNorwich on Feb 8, 2008 5:19 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Fun Fact
The first time Hemmingway uttered the phrase "Take a swing at me, pussy" he was addressing Gertrude Stein.
Didn't you used to be Barry Zito?

by VidaWantsYourCar on Feb 8, 2008 7:47 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

2008 giants
Feliz gone, team still bad
there is no pain greater than being behind the Rockies in the standings

by oldjacket on Feb 8, 2008 7:49 AM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Memories
Here are 2 similar ones in memory of Armando's last outing for the Giants:

Walk, balk, sac, balk.  Giants Lose.
Walk, balk, sac, balk.  You're Fired!

And a couple for old pal AJ Pierzynski:

Right knee to Conte's nut sack.
Check out my World Series ring!

"You can't make a foul ball fair by moving the bases." -- Mickey Mantle in "Safe at Home"

by PEFACommish on Feb 8, 2008 12:29 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke
Pedro Feliz (and excuse the grammatical chicanery)

"Does on-base-percentage count as one word?"

by candymanhackman on Feb 8, 2008 1:31 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Remember Merkin Valdez, 27.00 ERA?
Pujols smash.  Welcome to the majors.
"You can't make a foul ball fair by moving the bases." -- Mickey Mantle in "Safe at Home"

by PEFACommish on Feb 8, 2008 5:25 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

On this collective's optimistic pessimism
It ain't over 'til it's over.
NL West TempestTeapot...the AL doesn't care WHO you sign.

by victor frankenstein on Feb 8, 2008 8:12 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: On this collective's optimistic pessimism
Management marvels at mediocrity , peeves patrons.
NL West TempestTeapot...the AL doesn't care WHO you sign.

by victor frankenstein on Feb 8, 2008 8:28 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: On this collective's optimistic pessimism
What is that, from the '80s or something?
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!

by howtheyscored on Feb 8, 2008 9:56 PM PST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

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