Wow. So I asked the kid next door -- nice kid, good family -- to watch the rumor mill when I was gone. It was just for one day. All he needed to do was let the rumor mill out a few times. When I came back, there were rumors everywhere. On the linoleum, on the carpet...on the curtains? How in the.... That stupid kid got all caught up playing Missile Command at the pizza parlor, or whatever the hell it is that'll distract a kid these days, and forgot to let the rumor mill out. Just look at this mess.

I'll put up separate posts on each of the rumors/signings, which will allow for a slightly less schizophrenic comments section. Look above and below for other posts from today.

Pat Burrell

The Giants are passive-voice interested in Pat Burrell. I'm almost active-voice interested, but not quite. Scenarios:

1. The deal is longer than three years: Run away. Please. Deal with the fact that it will take a long time to develop power from within, but stay the course.


2. The Giants trade Randy Winn for something of value in order to make room for Burrell: Jump for joy, and bring in Glenallen Hill to work with Burrell's defense. Winn is a good player, and he would be a fantastic fit for a lot of teams. The Giants aren't really one of those teams, at least when this choice is between Winn and a high-OBP/high-SLG/garbage-defense guy.


3. The Giants trade Aaron Rowand for anything: Yes, please. Swap one bad contract for a shorter one, move Winn to center for a year, and worry about a long-term replacement next offseason. This is a completely unlikely scenario, though. I'm wondering if the Giants were just ecstatic with Rowand's season last year.


4. The Giants sign Burrell to put him at first: Uh, really? That's a big risk to take on an expensive free agent, and the Bowker experiment last year should remind us all that you can't just plop a guy down at first and expect him to be acceptable. Sandoval at third, Renteria at short, Frandsen at second, and Burrell at first would be the worst defensive infield in the history of American Legion, much less Major League Baseball. I don't see Sabean going for this one.


5. The Giants sign Burrell, trade Bengie Molina, move Sandoval to catcher, and look for another third baseman: ya but where are you going to replace all the molina rbis lol moron. Does anyone think that Sabean would even consider this? If the Giants sign Burrell, it's because the Giants want to contend now. Why would the Giants try and contend without their awesomey team leader MVP Bengie Molina? (Note: My sarcasm isn't directed toward Molina, whom I like, but rather toward the idea that he's an indispensable component of the team.)


6. The Giants sign Burrell with the intention of trading Fred Lewis: Depends on what's coming back, obviously, but I wouldn't be optimistic that the Giants could get fair value. Maybe there's some crazy scenario where Lewis and Jonathan Sanchez bring back a guy like Chris Davis, but that's really, really, really unlikely.

If the Giants are really interested in Burrell, I would think that the last scenario is the likeliest. And it scares me. Maybe the Giants leverage a pre-arbitration, league-average fan favorite into something of tremendous value. Maybe. Probably not. I can see Lewis getting traded for Jason Marquis, and the site's servers melting from the digital rage.

If I knew what else the Giants had up their sleeves, I'd be okay with Burrell. As is, I don't see a fit on this team.