From the Temporary Freak Out Files. Oh, what a difference an "I" can make.
about 3 years ago
Grant Brisbee
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if you know anything at all about the nice kid who plays for the baseball Giants’, and the nut job who plays for the football Giants, you immediately knew who this story was about without even worrying about the spelling.
Brian Sabean's new dad: Firm believer in corporal punishment
I don’t follow non-49ers football all that much, so I kept thinking, “But Manny seemed like he was such a solid citizen!!”
by Grant Brisbee on Nov 29, 2008 10:34 AM PST up reply actions
But you never know what happens when RRRRRIEBODY IN THE CLUB GETTIN TIPSY
The bases were drunk, and I painted the black with my best yakker. But blue squeezed me, and I went full. I came back with my heater, but the stick flares one the other way and the chalk flies for two bases. Three earnies! Next thing I know, skipper hooks me and I'm sipping suds with the clubby.
(whispers) rrrrrrrriebody in the club getting tipsy
by Grant Brisbee on Nov 29, 2008 11:42 AM PST up reply actions
(whispers) rrrrrrrriebody in the club getting tipsy
by Grant Brisbee on Nov 29, 2008 11:42 AM PST up reply actions
I don't understand
I just watched the video for this song on youtube, and they’re at a house party?!??!
and some dude clogs the toilet? wtf is going on here?!?!?
I finally got to see this video after going to FinallyFast.com!
Hey my computers fast! FINALLY! FinallyFast.com!
That’s it, I need to go outside…Now I’m quoting commercials from the frickin Arrested Development marathon…gotta love taking advantage of those 4 day weekends…I’m going to the Marina to throw rocks at douchebags…That’s what I call carpeing the day.
The bases were drunk, and I painted the black with my best yakker. But blue squeezed me, and I went full. I came back with my heater, but the stick flares one the other way and the chalk flies for two bases. Three earnies! Next thing I know, skipper hooks me and I'm sipping suds with the clubby.
rxmeister is correct.
I looked at that and thought-good thing there is a football team with a flaky wide receiver who has a very similar name to our shortstop.
I think I had the same reaction for about 3 seconds before my Brain decided, “wait, why would anyone even care . . . OHH Plaxico.”
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on Nov 29, 2008 10:39 AM PST up reply actions
Chedder Bob
I can’t believe he shot himself in the leg. That will go down as one of the dumbest moves ever. Especially if he goes down for the year.
I wonder if this kind of thing is covered in his contract. If shooting yourself isn’t something they can stop paying you for, then Monta Ellis is going to be pissed.
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on Nov 29, 2008 10:48 AM PST up reply actions
Jeff Kent
Remember when J Kent " fell from his truck while washing it"? and it turned out he fell on his motorcycle. That was very dumb on hid behalf, but this deal with Burress is absolutely idiotic. Man, I personally prefer after hour spots that do not require you bring firearms with you.
...Alawys surrounded by Angels and Dodger fans... This site keeps me sane
by Giant among Angels on Nov 29, 2008 10:08 PM PST up reply actions
I thought this article about it was unintentionally comical:
http://nationalpost.pa-sportsticker.com/default.aspx?s=nfl-news-display&nid=A140391227980407A
Burress has not practice all week due to an ailing hamstring and already had been ruled out of Sunday’s game against the Washington Redskins.
Grammar aside, I just like imagining that something like this was going through his head: “Man, my hamstring really hurts. You know what might make it feel better, though…” (and the rest is history).
Citing sources familiar with the situation, the New York Daily News reported that Burress was shot late Friday night, but no further details of the incident are available.
I like that they say “Burress was shot” rather than “Burress shot himself.” I mean, of all the things to sugar-coat.
It has already been a tumultuous season for Burress, who missed the team’s October 5 game against the Seattle Seahawks after being suspended for missing a team meeting.
I enjoy that they put shooting himself in the leg on the same level as missing a team meeting. That amuses me.
Best news story of the year? Maybe.
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
Stupid link.
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on Nov 29, 2008 10:53 AM PST up reply actions
To be fair, it’s not like it’s the same guy every time.
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on Nov 29, 2008 11:10 AM PST up reply actions
my favorite line in that story is that “he already had been ruled out of Sunday’s game.” Makes it sound like he thought it was ok to shoot himself in the leg because he wasn’t playing anyway.
Brian Sabean's new dad: Firm believer in corporal punishment
Burress...
is always so self-destructive. Just when he appears about to turn it around, he goes and shots himself in the foot again. rimshot
Flossing a dead horse
who went to Mishegin Yewnivercity
The bases were drunk, and I painted the black with my best yakker. But blue squeezed me, and I went full. I came back with my heater, but the stick flares one the other way and the chalk flies for two bases. Three earnies! Next thing I know, skipper hooks me and I'm sipping suds with the clubby.
THAT'S NOT WHAT THE ARTICLE SAYS
LINK??
by Grant Brisbee on Nov 29, 2008 11:41 AM PST up reply actions
what does the article say?
i would do it myself but i’m too lazy to read. reading is for normal people.
HOT LINKS!!!
by serrapadre716 on Nov 29, 2008 8:46 PM PST up reply actions
Give Grant a break. I mean, he’s just trying to get a fill a day here. This kind of thing is can’t miss. It’s sure to get a reaction. It’s McCoveyChronicles’ version of David Letterman playing reruns of weird stuff and junk.
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on Nov 29, 2008 11:35 AM PST up reply actions
"Nice Guy" Burriss
Before we get too carried away about the “solid citizenship” of Emmanuel Burriss:
http://www.thedirty.com/?p=50729
Defender of Noah Lowry.
Emmanuel Burriss shot Barry Zito in the leg while Playboy bunnies watched?
by Grant Brisbee on Nov 29, 2008 12:08 PM PST up reply actions
It is a bit of a jump from holding hands with a Playboy bunny to shooting yourself, though.
Never has a poster been more correct in the history of the internet. Ever! - ResDog on yours truly
Really, some of the comments on that page bug me more than anything the actual article might have inspired.
by offthedeepend on Nov 29, 2008 12:15 PM PST up reply actions
“women are gay”
Never has a poster been more correct in the history of the internet. Ever! - ResDog on yours truly
“I am a hot blond and could easily do work like that but I choose to pursue greater causes and stand for something more than being naked for men I do not know. It is not a matter of hate…it is a matter of what you want to stand for in life (if anything in the case of these women).”
And I am a being from a distant galaxy with a mission to preserve the Geo Metro for all intergalactic life.
Who has the fun?
Is it always the man with the gun?
- The Stranglers
by victor frankenstein on Nov 29, 2008 12:49 PM PST up reply actions
A hot blond is a dude. A hot blonde is a woman.
Now, think of this comment in a different light.
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on Nov 29, 2008 12:53 PM PST up reply actions
Cut to Victor in a room bathed in the eerie glow of a “black light” bulb
Yeah…now what?
Who has the fun?
Is it always the man with the gun?
- The Stranglers
by victor frankenstein on Nov 29, 2008 1:41 PM PST up reply actions
Ummm… now just turn off the light and try to get some sleep.
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on Nov 29, 2008 3:09 PM PST up reply actions
Oh dear crap, I can’t hold hands with anybody anymore lest my reputation as a solid citizen comes into question.
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on Nov 29, 2008 12:18 PM PST up reply actions
Holding Hands
Yes, if you were married I’m sure your wife would not mind at all that you were out partying with Playboy bunnies, then bringing them back to your hotel room after. And I’m sure they only held hands, just that once…. come on Howie, how naive are you?
Defender of Noah Lowry.
Very?
Also, as far as I can tell, that’s saying that the girls spent the night in their own hotel rooms. Not hoteling it up with Manny and Barry. Sure, there’s some sloppy pronoun confusion going on, but I’m sure this picture confirms that everybody was having hot, sinful sex with everyone else that night.
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on Nov 29, 2008 12:55 PM PST up reply actions
Butbutbut they're holding hands...
Brian Wilson looks like he doesn’t belong. He looks so spaced out.
I know that's a pisser, baby.
I’m confused…what’s going on here that’s so bad?
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized God doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness. - Emo Philips
Neglectful father of David Quinowski
First things first
If I could, I would.
Second, I don’t see any of that happening in the photos.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized God doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness. - Emo Philips
Neglectful father of David Quinowski
You’re not looking hard enough.
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on Nov 29, 2008 1:23 PM PST up reply actions
Maybe if you cut out the polyunsaturated fats…
– clank -
Who has the fun?
Is it always the man with the gun?
- The Stranglers
by victor frankenstein on Nov 29, 2008 1:44 PM PST up reply actions
You know..
I’m not sure about you, but marcello might be too private of a person to admit either way on that.
The Basil Fawlty Moderating Strategy:
"We could run a nice blog here if we didn't have all these members getting in the way."
Oh holy crap, guys who make a lot of money are seen hanging with plastic skanks. I can’t believe this has happened! I’ve never heard of such a thing in my life!
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Nov 29, 2008 2:02 PM PST up reply actions
ahem
skanks are people, too, hmmm..?
FIRE BRIAN SABEAN... UNLESS HE KEEPS DRAFTING WELL. .. AND SIGNS UNDERRATED PLAYERS LIKE AFFELDT OR PHELPS. .. OR ALRIGHT WHO'S PLAYING WITH THE ALIEN MIND-SWITCHING RAY?
I was quoted as saying that sluts are people too.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Nov 30, 2008 8:39 AM PST up reply actions
I’ve done lots of things wrong in my life, which gives me the luxury of judging with impurity.
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on Nov 29, 2008 3:10 PM PST up reply actions
Yeah, but I’d just be ripping off groug if I busted it out.
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on Nov 29, 2008 4:12 PM PST up reply actions
that's either the worst internet site evah
or the best. Not sure.
FIRE BRIAN SABEAN... UNLESS HE KEEPS DRAFTING WELL. .. AND SIGNS UNDERRATED PLAYERS LIKE AFFELDT OR PHELPS. .. OR ALRIGHT WHO'S PLAYING WITH THE ALIEN MIND-SWITCHING RAY?
Burriss=/=Buress.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Nov 29, 2008 2:00 PM PST reply actions
Just Manny being Manny…
They say some players get out of bed hitting; Pablo Sandoval doesn't wait that long
Better than Manny being tranny. A lot of these fake-ass bitches look like botched MtF.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Nov 29, 2008 3:13 PM PST up reply actions
Best.
I can always count on you.
Still-proud, adoptive mama of Notgardo Alfonzo, who's back from the 50-game purgatory. He promises never to do it again. I couldn't get him to promise to hit, though. We're working on that with bribes of M&Ms, kind of like potty training.
by tk on Nov 30, 2008 9:30 PM PST up reply actions
I just hope Sabean re-read the headline when he first saw it, because otherwise it’s hello, 5-year, $50 million contract to Rafael Furcal.
No, my Crazy Crab bobblehead is not for sale.
I love that of all the elements of this joke, the last one i questioned was that sabean gets his giants info. from the chron.
Idolizing Robb Nen since 2002...
by Smoke on the Water on Nov 30, 2008 3:51 PM PST up reply actions
Headline should read:
Incase anyone was still wondering, Giants’ Burress is an idiot.
When things get rough...
…I’m in the club shootin’ with Puff.
Yeah, I freaked out, too.
Fred Lewis can stand under my umbrella.
31 May 2007, 21:38 EST - the last time Matteh's career W-L wasn't below.500
“Football combines the worst aspects of modern American life. It’s horrible violence, punctuated by committee meetings.” – George Will from the Ken Burns Baseball documentary.
This is the only George Will quote you’ll ever hear from me.
Never has a poster been more correct in the history of the internet. Ever! - ResDog on yours truly
lol
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Nov 30, 2008 12:42 PM PST up reply actions
How it went down
Hot club cutie: Plaxico, can I borrow your cell phone?
Burress: Sure babe. It’s right here in my pock…KERPOW!…oh damn
My adopted Giant: "Raptor Jesus" Guzman
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