Open Phillies Rally Thread!
Yes, we're all sad that Milwaukee got ran. I would have loved to see C.C. and Prince and Ray Ray crush the Dodgers, but that ship has sailed. We must now throw our collective rooting interests behind the Phillies. After all, who doesn't love Chase Utley? His first name is a verb!

And our own Honest Abe Feliz. Grant himself said we were required to root for Pete Happy.

Did you know Cole Hamels was married to this woman from Survivor?
Did you know there was a TV show called Survivor?!?

(Heidi Hamels)
The Bay Uhhrea's own J-Roll! I miss the braids. :-(

Ryan Howard is a large man with a large car.

Let's go, Phillies! Beat dem Bums!
This FanPost is reader-generated, and it does not necessarily reflect the views of McCovey Chronicles. If the author uses filler to achieve the minimum word requirement, a moderator may edit the FanPost for his or her own amusement.
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112 comments
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Rally Pretty-Ok Almost Pitched for them

Tentatively adopting Dan Ortmeier. And Boom Goes the Dynamite.
by Andy from DC on
Oct 6, 2008 9:47 AM PDT
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RALLY HAYES!!

Oh, sorry, I meant this one:

Anagram of "Giants pitcher Matt Cain" = TRAGIC MAN, ISN'T PATHETIC
by Stuttering John Tamargo on
Oct 6, 2008 10:21 AM PDT
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i think you meant this one

STEVE HOLM! refuses to be the odd man out.
by UnleashTheGore on
Oct 6, 2008 11:30 AM PDT
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he didn't look right in a giants uniform

Dude looks like a smaller, thinner Shawon Dunston.
"he walked 18; new league record! Struck out 18, another new league record! He also hit the sportswriter, the PA announcer, the bull mascot twice..."
by i did my job on
Oct 7, 2008 11:30 PM PDT
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Rally other Hayes with Giants connection
by rightcenterfielder on
Oct 6, 2008 11:57 AM PDT
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rally weird place for a milestone

"he walked 18; new league record! Struck out 18, another new league record! He also hit the sportswriter, the PA announcer, the bull mascot twice..."
by i did my job on
Oct 6, 2008 12:18 PM PDT
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lol "giants stadium"
"he walked 18; new league record! Struck out 18, another new league record! He also hit the sportswriter, the PA announcer, the bull mascot twice..."
by i did my job on
Oct 6, 2008 12:18 PM PDT
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That picture
Is awkward in so many ways.
1) He achieved that milestone as a Giant in the twilight of his career (he looks so weird in a Giants uniform)
2) The scoreboard in the background shows that he got lit up in the first.
3) “Giant Stadium”
4) His left hand…
Catcher are base running. Hitters are offense.
by thehavenot on
Oct 7, 2008 10:57 PM PDT
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Wow..
I never knew he married her. Lucky dude.
The Basil Fawlty Moderating Strategy:
"We could run a nice blog here if we didn't have all these members getting in the way."
How is my adopted son almost twice as old as I am? Nevermind...Go Omar! Warm the Bench!
by WalrusMan on
Oct 6, 2008 10:34 AM PDT
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Gotta appreciate any woman who will strip in exchange for peanut butter & Oreos.
Why isn't Sabean held accountable for leading the Giants into many years of mediocrity???
by oldrips on
Oct 6, 2008 1:56 PM PDT
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All you need is...
Rally LOVE

They say some players get out of bed hitting; Pablo Sandoval doesn't wait that long
by bgunn on
Oct 6, 2008 10:36 AM PDT
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Rally Philly "Water Ice" Brain Freeze

No, my Crazy Crab bobblehead is not for sale.
by Kitspool on
Oct 6, 2008 10:38 AM PDT
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I know we’re supposed to be saying good things about the Phillies, but has a snack food ever had a crappier name than “water ice?” I mean, really.
What man? Which man? Who’s the man? When’s a man a man? What makes a man a man? Am I a man? Yes. Technically I am. - FotC
by jcb9 on
Oct 6, 2008 10:43 AM PDT
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Dude
They taste awesome. Seriously.
No, my Crazy Crab bobblehead is not for sale.
by Kitspool on
Oct 6, 2008 2:08 PM PDT
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I offer no opinion on their quality as a snack. It’s just a terrible name.
What man? Which man? Who’s the man? When’s a man a man? What makes a man a man? Am I a man? Yes. Technically I am. - FotC
by jcb9 on
Oct 6, 2008 2:54 PM PDT
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Rally Don't Mess with Ben Franklin

by rightcenterfielder on
Oct 6, 2008 10:40 AM PDT
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People who have names that are verbs are lame!
(Booya!)
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on
Oct 6, 2008 10:49 AM PDT
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I will
garrote you.
Mischievously implosive purple pitching staff.
by SloIsLonelyForTheOrange on
Oct 6, 2008 10:52 AM PDT
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What about people whose names aren’t officially verbs, but whose names can be used as slang verbs?
What man? Which man? Who’s the man? When’s a man a man? What makes a man a man? Am I a man? Yes. Technically I am. - FotC
by jcb9 on
Oct 6, 2008 10:55 AM PDT
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are you taking the piss?
having me on?
pulling my leg?
Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.
by delorean on
Oct 6, 2008 10:55 AM PDT
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Jack?
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on
Oct 6, 2008 6:06 PM PDT
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Different J name, not so filthy.
What man? Which man? Who’s the man? When’s a man a man? What makes a man a man? Am I a man? Yes. Technically I am. - FotC
by jcb9 on
Oct 6, 2008 10:29 PM PDT
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Permission to ban: Granted
Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.
by delorean on
Oct 6, 2008 10:56 AM PDT
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Rally What the Hell is Wrong With Amazon.com's Delivery System
by non sequitur on
Oct 6, 2008 10:50 AM PDT
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Well, that’s the fault of USPS or whomever delivered it, not Amazon.
But yeah, I had a package a while ago that went from Oakland to San Francisco back to Oakland. That was fun. I also had one from USPS that made it from Seattle to Richmond in a day, and then never departed the Richmond facility. I kept hassling them about it, but all they ever did in response was to add a line to the tracking info: “There are no further updates about this package.”
What man? Which man? Who’s the man? When’s a man a man? What makes a man a man? Am I a man? Yes. Technically I am. - FotC
by jcb9 on
Oct 6, 2008 10:54 AM PDT
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Well, that’s the fault of USPS or whomever delivered it, not Amazon.
I suppose you’re right about this.
It was around this time I received a package from Amazon that was (obviously) properly addressed to me, but I opened it up and it was a DVD I hadn’t ordered (Curse of Mike Myers!) with an inside packing slip addressed to someone in West Virginia. USPS had delivered the package to the right outside address, so I sort of made the assumption that the reason my order was delayed was that Amazon had screwed up my package in the same way.
by non sequitur on
Oct 6, 2008 11:08 AM PDT
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Ah, yeah, could be.
I once had a similar experience to that, too, but it was in my benefit. I had a gift certificate for a mail order company that specialized in flash-frozen, gourmet seafood meals. I placed a small order for a thing of caviar, and when my package came, it was two huge surf-and-turf meals, with a value more than double my gift certificate. I ate like royalty for about a week on that stuff. Mmmmmm.
What man? Which man? Who’s the man? When’s a man a man? What makes a man a man? Am I a man? Yes. Technically I am. - FotC
by jcb9 on
Oct 6, 2008 11:11 AM PDT
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I guess I could have kept The Curse of Mike Myers, but it’s probably not even worth a fish sandwich from McDonald’s, much less a gourmet seafood meal.
Lest I get too far off track:
Petey: yay!
Scott Eyre: Siddown, Loney, Ethier, and DeWitt!
Jimmy Rollins: Yeah, fine, he’s from the Bay Area. Go.
Joe Blanton, ex-A: I am indifferent to you. Just don’t screw things up.
by non sequitur on
Oct 6, 2008 11:29 AM PDT
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To continue the WTF Amazon theme: I once ordered 2 books and a DVD from them and when it came the box was completely empty. To top it off, the packing slip said: This completes your order. Amazon customer service was quite helpful that day. But, I did have to wait 2 extra days for that stuff.
Adopted Son: Brad Hennessey. Beloved for a stolen base much like Dave Roberts
by AndYourBirdCanSing on
Oct 6, 2008 1:24 PM PDT
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We like to laugh at the shipping too. There’s apparently a warehouse in Nevada. So a package will leave Nevada, go to Richmond, and then come to Sacramento. ’Taint no good way to get to Richmond, CA from Nevada without passing right by us. No distribution center here in Sac though.
by Merope on
Oct 6, 2008 4:27 PM PDT
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I have a worse one. I had a package came from Amazon Nevada to the Cal Central Valley by way of Hawaii, where it vacationed for 2 weeks. Amazon did overnight me a replacement, but the other one eventually arrived.
Keiichi Yabu: Leading your San Francisco Giants in triple plays induced
by BaysideBaller on
Oct 9, 2008 2:49 PM PDT
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Fun Phillies-related story
When I was four, my family moved from Albany in the East Bay to Princeton, NJ, for the sake of my father’s education. While living there, we attended Phillies games fairly often, watching the likes of Mike Schmidt, future Giant Tommy Herr, Von Hayes, future Giant (clearly what he wants to be remembered for) Steve Carlton, and, in the last year before we moved back to the East Bay, future Giant Steve Bedrosian.
Anyway, at one game when I was six, I had to use the restroom, and I INSISTED on going alone. My father wasn’t too keen on the idea, but I was being so stubborn that he eventually relented. So I went and used the restroom without incident, and came back – and went down the wrong ramp back to the seats. I couldn’t find my father anywhere. I kept going, peering down every section to look for my father sitting in his aisle seat. No luck, no luck, no luck. I ended up circling the ENTIRE BALLPARK before I eventually found him.
Also, we used to refer to Veterans Stadium as The Napkin Ring.
What man? Which man? Who’s the man? When’s a man a man? What makes a man a man? Am I a man? Yes. Technically I am. - FotC
by jcb9 on
Oct 6, 2008 10:53 AM PDT
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Another minor Giants-Phillies connection:
Mike Schmidt, probably the greatest Phillie of all time, played his last game at Candlestick Park in 1989. In the same game, Will Clark hit a grand slam.
I remember this only because I was there – one of my favorite games ever.
What man? Which man? Who’s the man? When’s a man a man? What makes a man a man? Am I a man? Yes. Technically I am. - FotC
by jcb9 on
Oct 6, 2008 11:07 AM PDT
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Another good Philly-based Schmidt:

They say some players get out of bed hitting; Pablo Sandoval doesn't wait that long
by bgunn on
Oct 6, 2008 11:15 AM PDT
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I was there, too.
In the RF “Family Pavilion”. Clark’s ball landed a row if front of me, and as I reached for it, I collided gloves with the guy who caught it. He ended up getting called away by security, meeting Will, and trading the ball (his first career slam) for a cap and autographed ball. For 20 years, I’ve replayed that moment in my head, wishing I’d lunged forward just a half-second earlier.
The Examined Life
"I been waitin' a long time for this! I been waitin' since the f**kin' amateurs!" --WILL "THE THRILL" CLARK
by Josh from Hollywood on
Oct 8, 2008 2:53 PM PDT
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I am all aborad the phillies bandwagon.
Eugeniooooooo!!!!
by FairweatherFan on
Oct 6, 2008 11:15 AM PDT
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a borat

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.
by delorean on
Oct 6, 2008 11:26 AM PDT
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a broad... < /slang >

They say some players get out of bed hitting; Pablo Sandoval doesn't wait that long
by bgunn on
Oct 6, 2008 11:38 AM PDT
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I thought she’d never been abroad.
What man? Which man? Who’s the man? When’s a man a man? What makes a man a man? Am I a man? Yes. Technically I am. - FotC
by jcb9 on
Oct 6, 2008 11:41 AM PDT
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Rally Pat Burrell is kind of gross and greasy looking

Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.
PABLO SANDOVAL AM STEAL DEATH, DESTROYER OF WORLDS.
by jponry on
Oct 6, 2008 11:42 AM PDT
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and by "kind of"
I’m guessing you mean “really, really”
They say some players get out of bed hitting; Pablo Sandoval doesn't wait that long
by bgunn on
Oct 6, 2008 11:43 AM PDT
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He has roots in the Bay Area, though!
What man? Which man? Who’s the man? When’s a man a man? What makes a man a man? Am I a man? Yes. Technically I am. - FotC
by jcb9 on
Oct 6, 2008 11:44 AM PDT
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mmm roids
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on
Oct 6, 2008 2:09 PM PDT
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Is he in an old spice ad?
I see the future, and it is Pablo
by CB30 on
Oct 7, 2008 6:37 PM PDT
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WIN!
STEVE HOLM! refuses to be the odd man out.
by UnleashTheGore on
Oct 6, 2008 12:08 PM PDT
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Exceptional work by Natto, as always.
by rotorueter on
Oct 6, 2008 12:10 PM PDT
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Unfortunately, I can’t take credit for this one (although I’m willing to do so anyway). It turned up on GIS.
by Natto on
Oct 6, 2008 12:19 PM PDT
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TURN IT GREEN
Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.
by delorean on
Oct 6, 2008 12:11 PM PDT
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Jeez, that bat is just crushing Lasorda’s head.
Not that I’m complaining.
Anagram of "Giants pitcher Matt Cain" = TRAGIC MAN, ISN'T PATHETIC
by Stuttering John Tamargo on
Oct 6, 2008 12:49 PM PDT
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Wonder if the Phanatic pondered using a maple bat to
whack Lasorda (they can be extra messy).
They say some players get out of bed hitting; Pablo Sandoval doesn't wait that long
by bgunn on
Oct 6, 2008 1:08 PM PDT
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Now if somebody could morph the beating a dead horse image into the Fanatic beating a rolling Lasorda…
by Merope on
Oct 6, 2008 4:31 PM PDT
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That Phanatic is relentless

by rightcenterfielder on
Oct 6, 2008 8:54 PM PDT
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This is 109 kinds of awesome.
by Lars The Wanderer on
Oct 7, 2008 6:34 AM PDT
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This is the best thing ever
I see the future, and it is Pablo
by CB30 on
Oct 7, 2008 6:38 PM PDT
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Rally Cheez Whiz

Adopted Son: Brad Hennessey. Beloved for a stolen base much like Dave Roberts
by AndYourBirdCanSing on
Oct 6, 2008 1:26 PM PDT
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RALLY JOAN JETT

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.
by delorean on
Oct 6, 2008 1:37 PM PDT
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I don’t love Chase Utley, but I do love Ryan Howard. I like my men like I like my coffee: black, strong…and…
Wait what?
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on
Oct 6, 2008 2:08 PM PDT
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Young Boy with Coffee: Excuse me, I happened to be passing, and I thought you might like some coffee.
Little Girl: Oh, that’s very nice of you, thank you.
Young Boy with Coffee: Cream?
Little Girl: No, thank you, I take it black, like my men.
by chilibean_3 on
Oct 6, 2008 2:23 PM PDT
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I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley.
by chilibean_3 on
Oct 6, 2008 3:45 PM PDT
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I Love Love Love LOVE Airplane!
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on
Oct 6, 2008 4:52 PM PDT
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Whoever doesn’t will be banned…in my mind.
by chilibean_3 on
Oct 6, 2008 5:52 PM PDT
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I love the scene with Barbara Billingsley in it where she spoke jive.
A gamer does NOT wear a foam finger, a dork does.
by SFGuy on
Oct 6, 2008 6:36 PM PDT
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my girlfriend's take on this
someone asked my girlfriend once “how do you take your coffee?” and she started with the joke “like my men…” but, being a smartass, i interrupted with “you mean bold and colombian?” and she said “no. plain.”
Dodgers fans eat their young.
by redhornet78 on
Oct 6, 2008 3:01 PM PDT
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“You are part of the rebel alliance and a traitor!”
STEVE HOLM! refuses to be the odd man out.
by UnleashTheGore on
Oct 6, 2008 2:32 PM PDT
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I think she’s good-looking without the glasses.
by rotorueter on
Oct 6, 2008 3:03 PM PDT
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i think she’s good looking without her clothes
by Giant Voodoo on
Oct 6, 2008 4:19 PM PDT
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I would have to see her without her clothes to evaluate this statement.
Trent Kline: Decentish. Also, my website is called ChatterBalks Dot Com. It's not being updated right now. Hope for more at your own risk.
by groug on
Oct 6, 2008 4:25 PM PDT
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Rally erection!
Mischievously implosive purple pitching staff.
by SloIsLonelyForTheOrange on
Oct 6, 2008 3:48 PM PDT
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What to Japanese men do when they have an erection?
They vote.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on
Oct 6, 2008 4:53 PM PDT
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haha
I beginning to see why you are so popular.
by Giant Voodoo on
Oct 7, 2008 9:19 AM PDT
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Rally "We know you ain't gunna come up with that"

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
by WilliamVanLandingham on
Oct 6, 2008 2:55 PM PDT
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lol wtf
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on
Oct 6, 2008 7:22 PM PDT
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you forgot his middle name Hussein. It still is a whole lot better than Sidney.
by wilriv21 on
Oct 6, 2008 8:41 PM PDT
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I thought his middle name was Mohammed Hussein Osama Khomeni bin Hitler.
What man? Which man? Who’s the man? When’s a man a man? What makes a man a man? Am I a man? Yes. Technically I am. - FotC
by jcb9 on
Oct 6, 2008 10:30 PM PDT
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"he walked 18; new league record! Struck out 18, another new league record! He also hit the sportswriter, the PA announcer, the bull mascot twice..."
by i did my job on
Oct 6, 2008 11:37 PM PDT
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Actually, my response depends
on if this was produced by one of the haters, or if this is meant to lampoon the haters.
by Jakespaar on
Oct 7, 2008 11:31 AM PDT
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Judging by rotorueter's reaction
It’s a lampoon. Rotorueter is as liberal as I am.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on
Oct 7, 2008 12:22 PM PDT
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::plugs his friend's blog::
It originated here: http://www.pandagon.net/
by rotorueter on
Oct 7, 2008 4:27 PM PDT
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he rules
naw, you dont really know him though
"he walked 18; new league record! Struck out 18, another new league record! He also hit the sportswriter, the PA announcer, the bull mascot twice..."
by i did my job on
Oct 7, 2008 11:17 PM PDT
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This past Christmas he got my name for our Secret Santa, and he got me the Resident Evil 2 Chainsaw controller. Also, he has a dog named Mort.
by rotorueter on
Oct 8, 2008 3:02 PM PDT
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holyfuckingshit
that rules.
Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.
by delorean on
Oct 7, 2008 10:10 AM PDT
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Honkie.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on
Oct 7, 2008 10:11 AM PDT
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Y’all have seen Sarah Palin’s Facebook page
, right?
What man? Which man? Who’s the man? When’s a man a man? What makes a man a man? Am I a man? Yes. Technically I am. - FotC
by jcb9 on
Oct 7, 2008 12:37 PM PDT
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now why would I want to do that?
I can have nightmares without any added horrors!
by Merope on
Oct 7, 2008 1:50 PM PDT
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/looks around for that Eugenio “playing” LF montage
Travis Denker can hit a little. That's why I drive his bus. Not much about baseball here .
by oldjacket on
Oct 9, 2008 10:01 AM PDT
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so which is it gonna be
Twix or Spatula?
"he walked 18; new league record! Struck out 18, another new league record! He also hit the sportswriter, the PA announcer, the bull mascot twice..."
by i did my job on
Oct 7, 2008 11:22 PM PDT
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The Dream is Reality
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today!
I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of “interposition” and “nullification” — one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today!
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; “and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.”²
by wilriv21 on
Oct 9, 2008 5:25 PM PDT
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