Wait a second...

I'd rather keep Cain in the rotation and have a closer by committee situation, if that's what it'd take to keep him in there.

Bullpen is jail, right?

Joe Nathan...Gone
Francisco Liriano...Gone
Boof Bonzer...Gone

all three traded for a mediocre dp machine (caps intentionally left out along with deliberate insertion of incorrect closing parenthesis( in his walk year.

Nen.......Gone  Injured, but paid in full while Sabaen and Magowan self-fellated themselves with "temporary" closers like Herges, Walker, Brower, and Lou Seal waiting for Nen to heal. Eventually replaced by Mando with a three year gazillion Nen-like contract. They again proceeded to sit around and suck their thumbs for another couple of years waiting for Crisco-Lardo to heal. At last Sabaen's patience, was rewarded when the Jenny Craig Drop-out pitched a walk-off balk. (even though it was the T9th, not even Jesus comes back from something like that)

Accardo....Gone  Traded for Chulk and Sinking ship architect and part-time Michigan Militia lookalike Shea Hindenburg.

Schmidt...Gone (done for year)and ineffective for the last 2 years of his multi-million multi-year contract. Replace with Zit-75 and give him the contract from Hell. The problem with Schmidt was that he spent too much time on the DL. The problem with Zito is that he doesn't.

But at least you have to admire the way he spreads financial resources around the pitching staff, when the three highest paid players this season are:

Matt Morris  $10,037,000.00
Zit-75           $10,000,000.00
Steve Kline   $ 1,750,000.00

Obviously Sabaen knows exactly what he is doing. It takes talent to spend $90 million on a last place club and finish 12 games under .500 3 years in a row. He came within a half game of the cellar last year, but it appears with a 7 game bulge over the Rockies, the Giants are pretty much a mortal lock for NL West Losers of the Year award this season. As the great (or greatest ever) POTUS declard some years ago: "Mission Accomplished)

Maybe he'll make Matt Cain and Tim Lincecum both closers on alternating weeks, and move Lowry to the set-up role when he isn't playing right field and pinch hitting.  Don't stop there. Get real innovative and hire Big Pappy Lincecum to pitch the 7th inning and spot start. Hey the guy threw 85 when he was 50...thats as good as Morris, and no doubt he'll be cheaper.

Next week, expect Sabaen to announce that he has a surefire deal in the works with the Red Sox to trade them Dave Roberts straight-up for Dice K, if the Sox pick up half of K's salary; and with the Yankees for A-rod and Jeter in exchange for Matt Morris and Omar Vizquel.