The slow timiest....

1. FR
   
2. Pre-med
   
3. Don't know
   
4. Hmmm, which one, which one.  Kurt Ainsworth
   
5. Will be
   
6. Coconut creme

1. F-Rod
   
2. Somewhere in the middle
   
3. Coppola -- Godfather, Apocalypse Now, and The Conversation. Billy Wilder, Kurosawa, and the Coen Bros also received votes.
   
4. Jamie Brewington
   
5. Will not
   
6. Pumpkin. All other answers are incorrect, with the possible exception of banana cream.

1. Neither. Brian Sabean for not getting Vlad.
2. Blind as Stevie Wonder
3. Cohen Bros. with  Raising Arizona, The Big Lebowski, and Fargo.
4. Damian Moss
5. Will
6. Granny Apple a la mode with vanilla bean ice cream

1. Felix
   
2. Pre-Med
   
3. Scorsese. Goodfellas, Gangs of New York, The Departed.
   
4. Jesse Foppert
   
5. Will
   
6. Key Lime

1. Felix
   
2. Blind luck (Sabean knows it too).
   
3. Michael Mann - Last of the Mohicans, Heat, The Insider
   
4. William Van Landingham
   
5. Will not
   
6. Banana Cream (dirty answer: Salma Hayek)

1. Rodriguez
   
2. a premeditated decent trade (because they needed Major League bodies...much like they do now) that turned out better than expected.
   
3. Kubrick: Paths of Glory, Clockwork Orange, 2001
   

4. Paul McClellan (because a friend of mine hit a foul tip off of him in high school before striking out)
   
5. will not
   
6. banana cream when it's damn all convention, pumpkin when it's just a Tuesday night and pie sounds good

1. Felix
   
2. A little bit of both
   
3. Coppola - Apocalypse Now, Godfather, Godfather II
   
4. Osvaldo Fernandez
   
5. Will
   
6. Apple

#2 The trade was a little of both.  He brought in Jeff Kent but no one could have thought he would blow up like he did.

#3 I'm not really a movie person so I don't really care.

#4 I don't really have a pitching prospect that I was rooting.  I just miss Guisseppe Chiramonte.

#5 Yea he probably will be.

#6 Plain pie crust.  My grandma's is amazing.

1. Sabean, obv.  Oh, you did say player.  I guess I gotta go with Felix.
2. (no surprise here) blind dumb luck.
   
3. Coen brotheers:  Millers Crossing, Fargo, and Oh Brother Where Art Thou?
   
4. Pooka shells Williams
   
5. Will not, if my .30-30 has anything to say about it.
   
6. I am going to go with my son's choice when they play the pie game at pre school: "Red Spiderman Pie"

1. Feel Rod
   
2. Luck
   
3. Very intriguing. Some good choices already, but if I am indeed going to the Gulag, I need the Dude, Walter and Donny, even Jesus the pederast and Larry Sellers (he's flunking social studies, Dude).  Coen Bros. Raising AZ, Big Lebowski, Fargo.
   
4. Bill Bordley
   
5. Will (and will be more productive than any 1B we have had for several years)
   
6. Cherry.

1. Edgardo Alfonzo
   
2. Blind Luck
   
3. Kusturica: Do You Remember Dolly Bell, When Father Was Away on Business, Underground.
   
4. Will Not (even though I know he will)
   
5. Banana Cream

1. "Blame" is such a strong word. But I guess Felix deserves it as much as anyone.
   
2. Premeditated blind luck.
   
3. Steven Soderbergh -- Out of Sight, The Limey and Ocean's 11.
   
4. Ryan Jensen
   
5. Will not
   
6. Key Lime pie

1. Fuck-Rod
   
2. Somewhere in the middle
   
3. Tarantino - Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown, Resevoir Dogs
   
4. Jesse Fopper
   
5. Not
   
6. Pumpkin

1. Felix Rodriguez
   
2. A premeditated stroke of genius
   
3. Don't know/care
   
4. Kurt Ainsworth (I don't know why. I was actually a bit sad to see him get traded. Can someone explain  why I felt that way?)
   
5. Will not
   
6. Pecan

The Jeff Kent trade was blind luck... the next day on the radio Sabean was crowing about acquiring Julian Tavarez... Kent was more of a journeyman throw-in.

Kubrick: Dr. Strangelove, The Shining, Clockwork Orange.

William Van Landingham.
Salomon Torres, Shawn Estes, and Mike Remlinger... kinda failures, kinda not. (Yes, I know Shawn Estes won 19 games his rookie year-- but who could imagine the drop-off??)

Dan Ortmeier will not be the starting first baseman when the season starts. Come on, this is a Brian Sabean club, with Bruce Bochee filling in the starting line-ups. It will be Rich Aurilia, or perhaps Tony Clark, if acquired.

My favorite pie is key lime.

1. it was my fault. i washed my lucky socks before game 6
   
2. blind luck
   
3. Sergio Leone - man with no name "trilogy"
   
4. Jerome
   
5. not
   
6. Apple

1. Felix
2. Genius
3. Pass for now - wanted spielberg but guess he didn't direct Star Wars IV like I thought he did.
4. Ainsworth count?
5. I don't think so, but I want him to be.
6. Peach, followed closely by cherry

1. Felix "All I got is a Fastball" Rodriguez
   
2. Pure,Spotless, Blind Luck
   
3. Chris Nolan: Batman Begins, The Prestige, Memento
   
4. Jesse Foppert
   
5. Will
   
6. Lemon Meringue...mmm...pie
   

1. Jose Cruz Jr.
2. a premeditated stroke of genius
3. Wes Anderson - Rushmore, Royal Tennenbaums, Darjeeling Limited
4. A tie - Jesse Foppert/ Kurt Ainsworth
5. I think Dan Ortmeier will be the starting first baseman when the season starts.
6. Pumpkin...or chocolate although I know some people would argue that chocolate isn't a real pie

1. Cruz Jr
   
2. Blind genius...just like Stevie Wonder
   
3. Tarantino; Pulp Fiction, Resevoir Dogs, Kill Bill 2
   
4. Osvaldo Fernandez..what a sexy latin man he was!
   
5. Will...no, will not...will...won't...what was the question?
   
6. Hair

1.  Fraud
   
2.  I don't think that anything a general manager of a baseball team does is "genius", I save that for people who actually do things, but it was a well conceived and executed.
   
3. John Waters  - Polyester, Female Trouble, Pink Flamingos
   
4.  Jerome
   
5.  Marionberry

The Jeff Kent trade was both a premeditated stroke of genius/blind luck.

If I could pick three films from any director to take with me to the gulag after I was arrested for treason, that director would be Hayao Miyazaki and the films would be Princess Mononoke, Howl's Moving Castle, and My Neighbor Totoro.

My favorite failed Giants pitching prospect was Shawn Estes.

I think Dan Ortmeier will be the starting first baseman when the season starts.

My favorite pie is banana creme.

1.  Jose Cruz jr.  Why? BECAUSE I SAID SO.
2.  The Jeff Kent trade was a combination of genius and luck.
3.  The Coen Brothers:  Fargo, No Country for Old Men and O Brother, Where Art Thou?  (Sergio Leone was a very very very very very close second for this.)
4.  My favorite failed Giants pitching prospect was Jerome Williams.
5.  I think Dan Ortmeier will not be the starting first baseman when the season starts.
6.  My favorite pie is my Caramel Crumb Apple Pie.  De-Freaking-licious.

1. FRod
   
2. a premeditated stroke of genius
   
3. Stephen Chow: Kung Fu Hustle, Shaolin Soccer, God of Cookery OR Brad Bird: Iron Giant, The Incredibles, Ratatouille
   
4. Jesse Foppert
   
5. will
   
6. apple

1. This will be unpopular, and I have had arguments with my friends about this, but Rob Nen has a lot to do with the game 6 collapse in 2002.  My belief is if your shoulder is spaghetti, you don't pitch, no matter how much of a gamer you are.
2. Pure, stupid, blind luck.
3. Very difficult.  At this momement, I will go with Zhang Yimou - To Live, Raise the Red Lantern, Hero.  Although when I am in the gulag, I reserve the right to change my mind, hop on Netflix, and change out all three movies for some Fellini, Anderson, kar-Wai, Ford, Scorsese, Jarmusch...
4. I thought Ainsworth had a future...
5. Ort will.
6. Apple.  If you live in Sacramento, go to the Tower Cafe and get their apple pie.  Mmmm.

I don't know. About a director. Most of these directors only have two movies at most that I can't live without. Edgar Wright (Shaun and Hot Fuzz), Satoshi Kon (Millenium Actress and Tokyo Godfathers), Lucas (Star Wars IV, SW EIII: Revenge of the Sith), Alfonso Cuaron (Children of Men), etc.

Therefore, by default: Mel Brooks, with Young Frankenstein, Spaceballs, and The Producers.

1.  Jason Schmidt
   
2.  Pre-med
   
3.  Coen Brothers - O Brother, Where Art Thou?; The Big Lebowski; Miller's Crossing
   
4.  Jerome Williams
   
5.  Yes
   
6.  Pecan

1. Felix Rodirguez
2. Premeditated
3. Richard Linklater: Before Sunset, Waking Life, Dazed and Confused
4. Jesse Foppert
5. Yes
6. Peach Cobbler

1. F-Rod for not taking his "flax seed that night"
2. blind luck
3. Michael Bay and the films would be "no films, just him...and all the stories of all the poon."
4. My favorite failed Giants pitching prospect was Jesse Foppert.
5. I think Dan Ortmeier sadly will be the starting first baseman when the season starts.
6. My favorite pie is Meat Pie.

Since I'm fairly new to the Giants, I'll just contribute my answer to #s 3 & 6.

3. Hitchcock - Strangers On A Train, Rear Window, Rope  (although Fincher, Kubrick, Billy Wilder, John Ford, Coppola, Milos Forman, Woody Allen, Jonathan Demme, and Christopher Nolan are right up there)
6. Humble

1. Felix the Rod. Bastard.
2. I used to think genius was involved, but no longer.
3. This was really tough! If Lucas had only directed Empire Strikes Back . . . I'm going with Coppola: Godfathers 1 & 2 and Apocalypse Now.  A close runner-up is Spielberg: Raiders of the Lost Ark, Jaws and Close Encounters.  Also like Jackson and the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
4. Jesse Foppert.
5. No.
6. Mmmm, coconut cream.

1. I blame Jose Cruz, Jr. for the Giants' championship drought more than any other player from the past decade.
2. The Jeff Kent trade was blind luck.
3. If I could pick three films from any director to take with me to the gulag after I was arrested for treason, that director would be the Coen brothers and the films would be Miller's Crossing, Barton Fink, and Oh Brother Where Art Thou (Miller's Crossing is my favorite, and I've seen Fargo and Big Lebowski so many times I could play them in my head).
4. My favorite failed Giants pitching prospect was Jerome Williams, who I believe signed with the A's at some point.
5. I think Dan Ortmeier will not be the starting first baseman when the season starts.
6. My favorite pie is pumpkin pie.

There's pretty much only one correct answer. Remember, the key part of the question is "near-flawless." We're talking the archetype of the genre.

2.  The Kent trade was blind dumb luck.  Very few players bust out at that age.  The trade was supposed to be for Julian Tavarez.
3.  If the Gulag is fully depressing, then I go with Kevin Smith:  Chasing Amy, Jay and Bob Strike Back, and Dogma.  If it's a Disney Gulag, then it's David Lynch with Mulholland Drive, Blue Velvet, and Elephant Man.
5.  I am rooting for Ort to succeed greatly, if for no other reasons than it would be a cheap win for the Giants and I have a bunch of his rookie cards.

1. F-Rod needs more love, he was nails for ages.  I give the goat award to Livan.  He piched underhand in the 2002 series.  Way to help take control of homefield advantage in Game 3, tubbo.
2. A solid move by someone who knew the franchise needed a jolt.  Sabean gets ripped too often by the lunatic fringe.
3. Kevin Smith for his gems, tho the best movie of all-time is Tommy Boy.
4. Trevor Wilson anyone? haha
5. God I hope not, and knowing Bochy, no chance.  All the blind youth-starved fans who scream for younger players to play should at least scream for GOOD younger players.  Tho i'd take him over Schierholtz in the lineup any day.
6. Felix Pie.  He'd look good in center.

1. FELIX
2. luck
3. Christopher Guest; Waiting for Guffman, A Mighty Wind, Best in Show
4. Jesse Foppert (he went to the same Japanese restaurant as I do!)
5. not
6. cherry

2. Blind Luck
   
3. The prospect of only getting to choose one director might force me to name names. Can't I just bring an ipod? Depending on last second inspiration either Kurosawa (High and Low, Ikiru, Ran), Tarantino (Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, Kill Bill Vol. 1), Wes Anderson (Rushmore, Royal Tenenbaums, Darjeeling Limited), Kubrick (Dr. Strangelove, The Killing, Full Metal Jacket), Welles (Citizen Kane, Touch of Evil, F For Fake), Hawkes (His Girl Friday, The Big Sleep, Red River), Wilder (Double Indemnity, Sunset Blvd, The Apartment), kar Wai (Happy Together, Chunking Express, Fallen Angels), cukor (Philadelphia Story, Gaslight, My Fair Lady) or Kieslowski (Double life, Dekalogue, Tri Colors).
4. Jesse Foppert
   
5. Will be, alas.
   
6. Key Lime

1. Definitely FiFi...  Maybe Livo.
   
2. Probably mostly dumb luck, especially considering Kent wasn't the centerpiece of the trade.
   
3. There's either Wes Anderson - Bottle Rocket, The Royal Tenenbaums, and Rushmore (or The Life Aquatic), or the Coens - O Brother, Lebowski, aaaaaaand...  Maybe Fargo (haven't seen Raising Arizona or No Country).  Or Peter Jackson, because I'm a huge geek, and I'd like to think that the Lord of the Rings trilogy would count as one movie, so I could also bring King Kong.  But if they have to be separate, then each LoTR flick is good enough, especially since I don't really have a third Jackson flick to pick from...
   
4. I'd have to say Jerome Williams, because he got a WHOLE lot of hype, and even looked good in a few starts his first year.
   
5. He will start the year as at least a platooning first baseman, and will lose his job by mid-May at the latest to Rich Aurilia.
   
6. Definitely apple pie with the crumbly top with cinnamon.  Freakin' awesome awesome stuff!

1. Cheeseburger.  He didn't even show up for Game 7.  Scooch it back a few more years & I'll say Dave Burba.  Yep, Torres got rocked, but Burba let game #162 get out of control.
   
2. Overrated.  Aurilia hit 37 hrs in front of Barry, Kent became a HOFer.  What would Matty hit during Barry's Ruthian years?
   
3. Spielberg - Jaws, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Saving Private Ryan.  Scorsese's my favorite, but Spielberg is more re-watchable (more variety).  'Unforgiven' is my favorite, but really can't find 3 great (IMO) movies directed by Clint.
   
4. Jesse Foppert
   
5. Niekro 2.0
   
6. Applie pie with a side of vanilla bean ice cream.... mmmm...

2. in between, matty or barry HAD to go, sabes clearly made the right choice on which one and got the best package offered for williams, but no one saw kent coming
   
3.  tough one...spielberg i guess
   
4. just reading the laundry list (estes, van landingham, torres, ainsworth, foppert, williams) and comparing it to the opposite list (cain) is making that rios/lincecum trade look good.  ahhh make it stop.  
   
5. will not (gotta believe as of today aurilia is the starting 1B, but im keeping fingers crossed for nick/dan johnson)
   
6. berry

1. Dusty trotted FRod out in each of Games 1-6 in 2002, including the 10-4 loss and the 16-4 win. In Game 6, he was facing Spiezio for the third time in the Series.  FRod battled Spiezio hard for eight pitches before the inevitable happened.  I blame FRod anyway. Him and Neifi Perez.
2. I'm of the belief that a GM deserves full credit for any good trade and full blame for any bad one.  Same way a hitter receives full credit for any hit, lucky or not. So I say the Kent trade was genius. And by that measure, Sabean was a great GM through the end of 2002, and a terrible one since then.
3. I was going to say Hitchcock, but decided that, given the circumstances, I'd probably rather have some movies that would make me laugh. So I'm going with Woody Allen (Play it Again Sam, Annie Hall, Bullets Over Broadway).
4. Bill Bordley! (sung to the tune of "Junk", by Paul McCartney) It's a very obscure inside joke, and I'm probably the only one laughing at it.
5. (flipping a coin--heads he will, tails he won't) Will.
6. Berry pie at Marie Callenders (heated, no ice cream). Sheer bliss.

1. Rodriguez.
2. Blind luck.
3. Christopher Nolan- "Following," "Memento," and "Insomnia."  Honorable mentions go to Michael Mann and David Fincher.
4. Salomon Torres.
5. Will be platooning with Tony Clark or someone who bears an annoying resemblance to Tony Clark (perhaps "Clony Tark"?)
6. Pecan, followed closely by coconut cream.

1. Dusty Baker. I'm still bitter about him starting Tavares for Game 7 of the 2002 WS.
   
2. Blind luck.
   
3. I was thinking of Terry Jones, Rob Reiner, and Brad Bird, but I finally decided on Andrew Adamson, if for no other reason than Prince Caspian is hot and drooling over him would give me a reason to live. (Okay, okay it's not even released yet, but who cares.) I'd take "Shrek 2" and "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" along as well.
   
4. Shawn Estes
   
5. Will not.
   
6. My favorite kind of pie is cake. :-P