Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

by NearestNorwich on Nov 18, 2007 11:48 AM PST 31 comments

This FanPost is reader-generated, and it does not necessarily reflect the views of McCovey Chronicles. If the author uses filler to achieve the minimum word requirement, a moderator may edit the FanPost for his or her own amusement.

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Re: Nice one!

In a similar vein: Prosecutor Dusty Johnnie B. Baker was so confident with his sides' case that he let Assistant Prosecutor Russell Ortiz keep the team's communal yellow legal pad as fellow team member Felix Hernandez was brought in for final, pre-summation cross examination...

by PositionPlayerProd on Nov 18, 2007 1:17 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

Re: Nice one!

Felix Rodriguez?

Giants Cove: You'll be a better person for reading

by Chulk on Nov 18, 2007 3:07 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Re: D'oh!!!

I was having a discussion about whether it was Rodriguez or Hernandez that was now the most common MLB player surname and apparently carried that conversation over into my post.

Thanks for the catch, Chulk!

P.S And sides' = side's

by PositionPlayerProd on Nov 19, 2007 8:15 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

Obviously, "Not guilty on all counts". However, if found guilty, the thing Barry does not want to hear in prison, "Barry, you is my woman now".

by wilriv21 on Nov 18, 2007 3:18 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

TV Announcer: "It looks like they've decided to let Bonds walk and go-after Jeff Kent."

by NearestNorwich on Nov 18, 2007 5:39 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

(polite golf clap)

With the season over, I release my adoptee Brian Sabean. Good luck in the world, little buddy.

by Mayor of 311 on Nov 18, 2007 8:23 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Re: (Starts the Wave)...

...and is rightfully pelted with cold garlic fries by annoyed neighbors...

by PositionPlayerProd on Nov 19, 2007 8:16 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

"Hey, everyone?  Listen up - Mitchell Report just came out.  Turns out, everyone was doing it - pitchers, hitters, everyone.  And they interviewed a few NFL guys, let's not even get started there.  Ummmm .... let's all just go home and forget this witch hunt ever happened, OK?"

by SnowLeopard on Nov 18, 2007 7:34 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

"Hello, Mr. Bonds. I'm Mayor of 311, and I'm here to pick your jury."

With the season over, I release my adoptee Brian Sabean. Good luck in the world, little buddy.

by Mayor of 311 on Nov 18, 2007 8:24 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

" Hello Mr. Bonds. I'm on the jury. Can I have your autograph?"

non illigitimi carborundum, excessum Sabeanus.

by Moderation on Nov 18, 2007 8:29 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

"You're on Candid Camera!"

Nattowear | comics | Durham? I hardly know 'im!

by Natto on Nov 18, 2007 8:44 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

"Perjury?  I thought this was about surgery.  I just wanted my appendix removed.  Case dismissed."

Steve Kline: How okay is he, really? I would say he is pretty okay.

by groug on Nov 18, 2007 10:31 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

Prosecutor: "Miss Bell, tell us about the many times you personally saw the defendant inject substances into his body."

Kimberly Bell: "I didn't see any injecting - I just know he didn't give me all the money he said he would. By the way, you guys are paying me for this, right?"

The SF Giants: agressively promoting young talent since 2008.

by Lyle on Nov 19, 2007 7:22 AM PST reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

"Wait, that's not right.  I said he injected substances into MY body."

sorry everybody

you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area

by nick on Nov 19, 2007 10:25 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

I spent a minute trying to think of how to make this exact joke, but then I got bored and decided it wasn't worth it.

Nicely handled.

Dave Righetti: You Know You Want It. / Also, my blog. For writers.

by howtheyscored on Nov 19, 2007 10:34 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

"PSYCHE!"

Dave Righetti: You Know You Want It. / Also, my blog. For writers.

by howtheyscored on Nov 19, 2007 9:29 AM PST reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

Following the acquittal, Mr. Benitez commented, "Nine times out of ten that closing argument works, but the jury foreman was out of position. I don't know why."

SJ Giants, 2007 Cal League champs! Couldn't have done it without the All-Father.

by EliminateMe on Nov 19, 2007 10:37 AM PST reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

He then added, "I did MY job."

"He called the sh** POOP!" -- Adam Sandler

by JRPhillips on Nov 20, 2007 4:27 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

Prosecutor: "Mr. Feliz, it has been suggested that a small package of syringes addressed to Mr. Bonds was left just outside the clubhouse shortly before you arrived for the first day of spring training in 2003. Do you pick it up?"
Defense: "Objection! It has already been established that Mr. Feliz is incapable of making contact with anything low and outside."
Judge: "Sustained."

by NearestNorwich on Nov 19, 2007 11:52 AM PST reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

Nice one!

If Brad Hennesy had Steve Kline's attitude you'd get Rob Nen... without the triple digit heat.

by milesntrane on Nov 19, 2007 12:00 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

Plus, as they say, one.

SJ Giants, 2007 Cal League champs! Couldn't have done it without the All-Father.

by EliminateMe on Nov 19, 2007 12:57 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

"Ladies and Gentleman, Please rise! Now presiding over the case of the people of the United States versus one Barry Lamar Bonds, the honorable Judge Paul Runge."

If Brad Hennesy had Steve Kline's attitude you'd get Rob Nen... without the triple digit heat.

by milesntrane on Nov 19, 2007 12:00 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

I would have also been happy with the Honorable Judge Reinhold.

Dave Righetti: You Know You Want It. / Also, my blog. For writers.

by howtheyscored on Nov 19, 2007 2:25 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

Mock Trial with J. Reinhold!

Steve Kline: How okay is he, really? I would say he is pretty okay.

by groug on Nov 19, 2007 2:28 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

Sorry for the longest embed ever. It's all good stuff, though. It really is Judge Reinhold's voice, and I think a few of the basketball players' voices are their own, and I think you can hear Kenny Mayne as well.

Dave Righetti: You Know You Want It. / Also, my blog. For writers.

by howtheyscored on Nov 19, 2007 3:26 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

omg best ever

Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Nov 19, 2007 11:01 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

I die every single time I see the animation on Randle going "Hey, ho, hey, ho!" It's just one of the funniest god damn things I've ever seen.

Dave Righetti: You Know You Want It. / Also, my blog. For writers.

by howtheyscored on Nov 19, 2007 11:43 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

In the commentary for that episode, Kevin Smith mentions how Jeff Anderson had the biggest trouble doing that, prompting him to dub him the whitest white guy ever.

Nattowear | comics | Durham? I hardly know 'im!

by Natto on Nov 20, 2007 1:02 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

He He, that darn Judge Reinhold.  He's such a "close talker"

by Armz Dealer on Nov 20, 2007 4:34 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

"You will now be judged by a jury of your peers: aging former steroid users. Foreman Schwarzenegger, has the jury reached a verdict yet?"

DbacksSkins

by DbacksSkins on Nov 19, 2007 2:36 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

Re: Things Barry Wants To Hear at Trial

Prosecutor: "Mr. Anderson, please tell..."
Judge: "Let the record show the Mr. Anderson has displayed the middle digit of high right hand...make that both hands... to the prosecutor."

by NearestNorwich on Nov 19, 2007 5:57 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

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