Rootin'

I was pulling for the Indians almost as hard as I would have pulled for the Giants. I really was. I'll always pull for the Indians until they win a World Series because a) they haven't won a World Series in over a half-century, and b) the last time the Giants won a World Series, it was against the Indians, which somehow makes the Indians' streak of failure even more endearing. At least I'll always have the '94 49ers as proof that my specific rooting interests are not cursed.

Now comes an unpleasant choice. Red Sox or Rockies? The correct answer is "no." Man, I wish that counted for something. I understand the raison d'rêpugnance with the Red Sox. Their ALCS comeback against the Yankees was a fantastic piece of sports history, but the Sox fans have their ring now. After Boston blew open the game last night, Fox cut to a woman dancing a dance of smug. The look on her face was one of entitlement and personal validation; it was the look of someone who expected her team to win. I wanted to reach through the screen and stab her with a spork. These aren't the nail-biting lovable losers of yore.

But I just can't root for the Rockies. It's impossible. I don't care that they built their team in the "right" way. I don't care that Red Sox Nation comprise the most annoying subset of humanity in the modern world. I just care that the Rockies didn't exist the first time I kissed a girl or drove a car. It's a ridiculous philosophical position to base a team's "worthiness" on the length of their existence. But there you go.

The Rockies don't have a playoff history worthy of pity; heck, they barely have a playoff history at all. The city of San Francisco has Felix Rodriguez, Dusty taking the ball from Russ, Eric Young not on the playoff roster, McCovey's line-drive out, Candy Maldonado's dive, and a freaking earthquake instead of a championship. That long and varied history of failure has to count for something. Therefore, the Rockies don't deserve a ring until they suffer an acceptable amount of torment. I'm going to pout like a sullen toddler until the Giants win something, and I certainly won't root for the Rockies. It isn't exactly the moral high ground. It's an immature argument, at best.

I'm pretty comfortable with it, though. Maturity is overrated. Go not-Rockies.

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