http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=303

Sing these to the tune of ABBA's "Fernando"

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Did you hear the call Armando?
I remember in 2000 on a windy night like this
Down at Pac Bell Park Armando
You were thumping on your chest and hanging sliders near and far
I could hear the distant crack
And J.T. Snow's deep drive was shooting toward the stars

You're our closer now Armando
Every inning every fastball seems to go right down the chute
We are so afraid Armando
We were young and full of life and we all held our heads up high
And we're not ashamed to say
The work of Beck and Robb Nen almost made us cry

You were choking in the ninth that night
You're such a fright, Armando
There was Jeffrey Maier and Grissom too
You piece of poo, Armando
Ev'ry time you pitch you always lose
We will regret
Now it's time to blow the game again
You suck, get bent, Armando

What've you got to say Armando?
And since many years I haven't seen you throw a 1-2-3
Can't you beat the Bums Armando?
Do you still recall the other night we pulled out all our hair?
I can see it in your eyes
How pissed you were that Omar stood right over there

There was nothing in your arm that night
Try as you might, Armando
In the playoffs leads evaporate
You're not so great, Armando
You'll come up with some stupid excuse
I'd surely bet
Then you'll just say something lame again
Go count to ten, Armando

You were choking in the ninth that night
You're such a fright, Armando
There was Jeffrey Maier and Grissom too
You piece of poo, Armando
Ev'ry time you pitch you always lose
We will regret
Now it's time to blow the game again
You suck, get bent, Armando
Yes, now it's time to blow the game again
You suck, get bent, Armando

Take him out of the ball game,
Take him out of the game,
He feasts on peanuts and Cracker Jacks
His high-90s fastball is not coming back
We all root root root for the home team
He doesn't, and it's a shame
Cos it's one, two, three balls then a walk
And Benitez blows a save!

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And Take Him Out of the Ballgame: Version Lyle

Take him out of the ballgame,
Before he's killed by the crowd;
Sell him for peanuts or crackerjack,
Please, just don't let him ever come back.
Give the boot, boot, boot to Armando.
If he gets in it's a shame.
For it's one...more...reason to boo
At the old ballgame.