An alternate, totally irrelevant universe

by oneflapdown on Jul 6, 2005 5:53 AM PDT

Okay, so I am officially looking forward to football season.

I love the Giants, and I always will, and as much as I'll bitch and moan about how much they suck this year, I know I'll still soak up every minute of their games that I can catch on TV (I live on the East Coast).

But, having said that... I prefer the Giants that are in the World Series. This year.

I speak, of course, of the Giants of EA's MVP 2005.

These are the bizarro Giants, the Giants where...

... Noah Lowry just pitched a perfect game in Game 2 of the World Series against, of all frigging teams, the Anaheim/Los Angeles/Hollywood/Springfield/Quahog/Mudville Angels.

... In the same game, Jason Ellison went 3-for-4 and was a homer shy of the cycle.

... Merkin Valdez is in the starting lineup right now, and went 13-4.

... Their record was 114-48.

... Kirk Rueter was released before the season started. Presumably, he was either put on a bus out of town, or hit by one.

Of course, these Giants also have a budget of $128 million, Todd Helton playing first, and Ichiro (who hit 40 triples) playing in right.

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