I Have a Dream...

There is nothing more boring than reading or listening to someone recount a weird dream they had. Nothing.

So, without further ado....

My friends kept bugging me to get tickets to a concert. C'mon, get `em quick. It's going to sell out! Hurry! They showed me the ad, which was announcing the concert of Darryl Strawberry performing Kiss songs. The picture in the ad showed Strawberry with an oboe.

When I would stall, and say I'd get them soon but not right away, they would respond with the line, "My brudda, he's like a baseball!" The line is said in a Jerry Lewis-type whine by a Jerry Lewis-type character, and it was the catch phrase of some popular sitcom, like, "Whatchu talking about Willis?". The line meant the person wasn't smart. Jerry Lewis' brother makes a poor decision, Jerry Lewis does a sing-song,"My brudda, he's like a baseball!", and the credits roll.

The segue after that is long forgotten, but the next part of the dream has me listening to a rap song. It's a song from Canadian rapper -- and huge baseball fan -- Buck 65, and he's dissing Eminem. Sportscenter comes on after the song, says that Eminem has crafted a special rebuttal to the rap, and they start playing the tribal drums that Sportscenter is keen on playing at the start of a montage. The montage is all Red Sox/Yankees. To wit:

(dubba da dubba dubba dub)
(Clip of Jason Varitek shoving Alex Rodriguez)
(dubba da dubba dubba dub)
(Clip of Mike Mussina throwing a ball over Trot Nixon's head)
(dubba da dubba dubba dub)
(Clip of Johnny Damon going into second with his spikes high)
(dubba da dubba dubba dub)
The drums just keep going, and at no point does it tie into Eminem. Also, during the montage, an occasional clip of Kurt Cobain's face is thrown in.

At no point have I fabricated or embellished any aspect of the dream. Now, the questions:

  1. How much would you pay to see Darryl Strawberry play Kiss songs on an oboe? eBay isn't capable of handling that kind of hysteria.
  2. How catchy is the sitcom catch-phrase? Should I ditch the baseball writing and start with the teleplays?
  3. What does it mean? For the love of all that is holy, what does it all mean?
Now, that was boring, just as advertised. However, would you rather have had me write about a game where the Giants outhit their opponent 11 to 3, and still lost? Didn't think so. You were saved by my subconscious, and don't you forget it.
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