How to choose a breed of dog

by Grant Brisbee on Dec 20, 2005 11:47 AM PST in News

I'm working on my new book, "You Might Be a Baseball Nerd...", which is basically my stand-up routine in book form. Here's an example: You might be a baseball nerd if you are excited about the possibility of arbitration-eligible players being non-tendered, and then signing with your favorite team. Actually, that's the only joke I've come up with so far. I don't have a publisher yet.

I am a baseball nerd, and I am going to be on the computer around that 9:00 p.m. deadline tonight, checking out who the new free agents are. Vicente Padilla was probably the most intriguing possibility, but he was traded to the Rangers before we could even think about getting our grubby little paws on him. If the Twins can't find a trade partner for Kyle Loshe, will they just dump him? It's like an impeccably constructed mystery novel, where each page brings us closer to a solution, and the twists and turns come from nowhere, only making perfect sense in retrospect, as characters you thought you could trust become suspects, and then heroes again, but you never kn....

Wait, it's not like that at all. It's a bunch of sub-mediocrity being told by their employers they aren't worth the money. As far as the pitching possibilities go, I wrote about the arbitration-eligible folks here. Little has changed. It seems like the Red Sox are going to non-tender Wade Miller, which has to mean his shoulder isn't even something you would want to donate to science. Still, it'd be worth a minor-league contract to see if Miller can compete for the last spot in the rotation. Of all the possible non-tenders, I'd love to see Ted Lilly on the Giants. Even if the Blue Jays do offer him arbitration, they'd still probably have an eye on giving him away for scraps.

If the arbitration-eligible pitchers are boring, then the arbitration-eligible position players are something you slip into someone's drink if you want to knock them out. Anyone approaching good will be offered a contract. Most everyone not approaching good will be offered a contract. Unless Morgan Ensberg is found in bed with Drayton McLane's niece, wife, and pet chinchilla within the next five hours, there isn't going to be too much to help the Giants. Now that's a frame job I could trust Jack Bauer to set up, but the producers of "24" won't return my calls anymore.

The list of all arbitration-eligible players is here. Is there anything I'm missing? Pena or bust?

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Re: How to choose a breed of dog

Didn't the Jays turn down Ryan Howard for Ted Lilly last year at the deadline? Would think he'd be more in their plans.

by keithr on Dec 20, 2005 12:01 PM PST reply actions

You might be a baseball nerd...

If you check this site multiple times daily, looking for a headline you don't recognize. Thanks for the entertainment during the long offseason.

I would like to see Lilly, too, but methinks that Sabean is done for the year. I hope I am wrong. He has surprised me before, and not always in a bad way.

by out machine on Dec 20, 2005 12:04 PM PST reply actions

Re: You might be a baseball nerd...

"If you check this site multiple times daily, looking for a headline you don't recognize."

Amen

by hammystyle on Dec 20, 2005 1:39 PM PST up reply actions

Re: You might be a baseball nerd...

...if you post to this site even when it's your anniversary and you know your wife will give you the evil eye. Not that anyone on this site would ever do that. Ahem. Martin.

by leftymalo on Dec 20, 2005 2:04 PM PST up reply actions

BURN!!!!!

I now appoint you Captain Burn of the USS... Hot

Whatever happened to that girl I knew, she was just like you- but was way more into me

by kenshin1 on Dec 20, 2005 2:18 PM PST up reply actions

Re: You might be a baseball nerd...

As Norm Crosby (WARNING: GIVING AWAY MY AGE!) used to say, "HEY! I resemble that!" :^)

by Martin BiasedGiantsFanatic on Dec 20, 2005 5:35 PM PST up reply actions

Pena or Bust...

Made me crack up at work.
Thank you.

by olympicjosh on Dec 20, 2005 12:43 PM PST reply actions

Re: How to choose a breed of dog

A motley bunch it is, but would anybody be interested in Jason Phillips as a backup to Matheny. His hitting doesn't inspire one to think romantic baseball thoughts, but he has a little pop, he can take a walk and he seems to hit well at King and 3rd: .314 .342 .429 .771

He shouldn't command a lot of $$$ and seems like a better alternative to Knoedler and Haad.

-- Born Yesterday

by thatdog on Dec 20, 2005 12:59 PM PST reply actions

Phillips

Phillips can hit a little, but he can't throw out a runner to save his life. Didn't some team flame him last year for something like 11 SB's in one game?

by DrBGiantsfan on Dec 20, 2005 3:30 PM PST up reply actions

Re: Phillips

Not sure if it was 11 but it was against the Reds. Freel had five or six, I know because he is on my roto squad. One of those steals was of home, hard to believe that one was on the catcher...but he can't throw anyone out and wears some goofy ass glasses to boot.

Verdict: Better off without him

"San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina" - Ron Burgundy

by W8ingForATitle on Dec 20, 2005 3:58 PM PST up reply actions

I think it was five

I went to that game, it was the first time I had ever been to Dodger Stadium. He stole five bases. In the top of the 9th with the score tied and one out Freel walked, stole second, stole third, and scored the go-ahead run on a sacrifice fly. The Reds held onto win in the bottom of the 9th but not before about half of the stadium left with their team down by one. Freel was also on my fantasy team. It was a great day.

by Nick Schulte on Dec 20, 2005 4:10 PM PST up reply actions

Re: Phillips

wears some goofy ass glasses

Now waitaminit - ass glasses? Would those be to improve his hindsight?

by EliminateMe on Dec 20, 2005 5:25 PM PST up reply actions

Re: Phillips

Well played, sir.

"I been waitin' a long time for this! I been waitin' since the f***ing amateurs!" --WILL "THE THRILL" CLARK

by Josh from Hollywood on Dec 20, 2005 10:54 PM PST up reply actions

Phillips

...is terrible. His OPS his under .650 for the last two years and sucks at defense too. I'd rather get Benito back, or Kirt Manwaring.

by hammystyle on Dec 20, 2005 4:26 PM PST up reply actions

Haad

Is there a worse alternative out there that doesn't involve a random fan drawing for who will suit up as the Giants #2 catcher for the day? Although that would be a great PR move...and the production would be similar at the plate (nothing).

"San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina" - Ron Burgundy

by W8ingForATitle on Dec 20, 2005 1:10 PM PST reply actions

Haad vs Phillips

Maybe we could find a way to combine Haad and Phillips into one body. Phillps can hit, but can't field the position. Haad can't hit to save his life, but he threw out 5 of 10 baserunners and the pitchers he caught had a 2.51 ERA. If I had to make the choice, I'd take Haad's D.

by DrBGiantsfan on Dec 20, 2005 3:33 PM PST up reply actions

I think I would too...

I wish the not automatically terrible Alfonzo were more of a catch-n-throw guy.

by Grant Brisbee on Dec 20, 2005 3:35 PM PST up reply actions

Re: Haad vs Phillips

If I had the choice I would look for other oprions...any other options. Unless Matheny is going to catch 162 games the backup catcher spot is going to be a key issue to address. If not now it will be later. Here's to hoping for now.

"San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina" - Ron Burgundy

by W8ingForATitle on Dec 20, 2005 4:01 PM PST up reply actions

Re: Haad

I guess nobody was too excited by K-noodle's call-up last year?

Nah, me neither, but I'm just asking...

by EliminateMe on Dec 20, 2005 5:43 PM PST up reply actions

Bruce Chen Anyone?

Still fairly young, has some talent, coming off a pretty good year. Any chance the Orioles let him go?

by mxmob33 on Dec 20, 2005 2:25 PM PST reply actions

Ramon Ortiz

Has been non-tendered by the Reds. Any chance he can repeat his 2002 with Anahiem? If he was willing to sign a minor league deal, maybe he'd be worth a shot.

by mxmob33 on Dec 20, 2005 4:13 PM PST reply actions

You might be a baseball nerd...

If you spend an inordinate amount of time dreaming about someday wearing your very own MCC t-shirt.

www.waitingfortbg.com (under contstruction)

by Goofus on Dec 20, 2005 4:41 PM PST reply actions

Re: How to choose a breed of dog

CHOI!

Saving countless runs with my defense

by lyricalkiller on Dec 20, 2005 5:04 PM PST reply actions

Re: How to choose a breed of dog

I could live with a Russel Branyan pickup.

by hammystyle on Dec 20, 2005 5:23 PM PST reply actions

Re: How to choose a breed of dog

Looks like Russell the love Muscle reupped with the Brew Crew.

"San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina" - Ron Burgundy

by W8ingForATitle on Dec 20, 2005 10:00 PM PST up reply actions

Wade Miller Non-Tendered

But Rotoworld says he probably won't be ready until May.

by mxmob33 on Dec 20, 2005 5:48 PM PST reply actions

And the really bad news...

They mean Milt May.

by dangjackson on Dec 20, 2005 5:51 PM PST up reply actions

Choi re-signed with the Dodgers

Pena or bust?

Free Hee! ..... to the Giants.

by Fog City Blues on Dec 20, 2005 6:29 PM PST reply actions

Re: Choi re-signed with the Dodgers

H. Seop is back with the 'Gizz, but we can only hope he's still on the trade block. I peer into my Cristal ball and say Sabean makes a fun trade for a LH-1B in the next, mmmmmmmmmm, three weeks.

by leftymalo on Dec 20, 2005 9:42 PM PST up reply actions

Not much yet

Well, Eric Byrnes, Wade Miller and Grant Balfour are mildly interesting. I think Miller and Balfour are hurt, though.

Byrnes would probably make a fine fourth outfielder.

I suspect Sabean might have interest in Ramon Ortiz or Ryan Franklin, neither of whom excites me much.

Anyway, those are my first impressions after scanning the nontender list at Baseball Primer.

by Dan from NM on Dec 20, 2005 9:59 PM PST reply actions

Ortiz

Ramon Ortiz at least has some upside. It's a little mystifying why he isn't a perennial all-star. Didn't he have an option for about $4.5 M? I wonder what he'll get on the open market? He might be worth a flyer if he'll take less than $1 M.

by DrBGiantsfan on Dec 21, 2005 6:37 AM PST up reply actions

Re: How to choose a breed of dog

I'd love too land Eric Byrnes. He said he is a Giants fan, and he always killed us when he was in Oakland. Didn't he even hit for the cycle against us???

J.T Snow : One of the best giants ever!!

by rockeastwood on Dec 20, 2005 11:00 PM PST reply actions

Re: How to choose a breed of dog

From what I read, he was a HUGE Giants fan. I would love to get him but I don't know if he'll be happy being Bonds/Alou's main backup. He's not getting younger and he's entering his arbitration years.

by Martin BiasedGiantsFanatic on Dec 21, 2005 1:39 AM PST up reply actions

2 years.

We could offer Byrnes a two year contract. He'd get plenty of PT with as many games as Alou and Bonds are expected to miss. Then he could move into a starters role in 2007. If he performed well, he'd still have time to get a nice contract.

by DrBGiantsfan on Dec 21, 2005 6:38 AM PST up reply actions

I don't...

understand the interest in Barnes... He appears, at least to me, to not really hit or play defense well enough to start in the outfield.

Whatever happened to that girl I knew, she was just like you- but was way more into me

by kenshin1 on Dec 21, 2005 8:10 AM PST up reply actions

No, but

a good platoon player -- career OPS around 850 vs lefties. Not a bad complement to Randy Winn, though it would be nice if one of them were actually a center fielder.

by Evan on Dec 21, 2005 8:30 AM PST up reply actions

Byrnes

Byrnes would be a good addition and we might be able to entice him with the warm, affirming atmosphere in the clubhouse, just like it was with the A's; well maybe we could entice him with all the playing time he will get behind the two guys that should be in rocking chairs; maybe we can just appeal to his early imprinting as a Giants fan.

by APGiantsFan on Dec 21, 2005 7:39 AM PST reply actions

Re: Byrnes

Byrnesey is allright. He plays out of his shoes. He really is fun to watch play. Like his asshole buddy Santangelo, he grew up in the bay area hangin out at the stick. He leads MLB in having fun playing the game. If nothing else, his stand up comic routine warrants a contract offer. He is MLB's version of Jimmy Kimmel.

i porked my username, but wtfgas anyway?

by E Ticket on Dec 21, 2005 8:56 AM PST up reply actions

Re: Byrnes

Byrnes?? Now we're really getting desperate. With the way that guy takes bad angles on every ball hit to him it would be a miracle if he could catch anything in center at Mays Field. We don't need another backup outfielder. Sweeney and Ellison will do. It's the infield where we need help. Next thing we'll be hearing calls to get Shinjo back.

by wjackalope on Dec 21, 2005 9:54 AM PST up reply actions

Re: Byrnes

byrnes is for "amusement purposes only". do not try this at home. except for bonds, the giants are as boring as the rockies or royals. last season without bonds, was like a 6 month root canal without the laughing gas. if b goes down again, the giants will go nowhere again.

byrnes is at least amusing and entertaining, so we might as well get some grins along the way. byrnes would provide the nitrous oxide in a 2006 revisit to the dentist's office.

i porked my username, but wtfgas anyway?

by E Ticket on Dec 21, 2005 10:26 AM PST up reply actions

Re: Byrnes

>byrnes is at least amusing and entertaining, so we might as well get some grins along the way. byrnes would provide the nitrous oxide in a 2006 revisit to the dentist's office.

Hear hear. Over/under on when he gets into a dugout scuffle with Bonds: July 23.

by leftymalo on Dec 21, 2005 10:43 AM PST up reply actions

Re: Byrnes

Over/under on when he gets into a dugout scuffle with Bonds: July 23.

uhm...when do pitchers and catchers report?

i porked my username, but wtfgas anyway?

by E Ticket on Dec 21, 2005 11:13 AM PST up reply actions

Re: Byrnes

You know, the more I think about Byrnesy, the more I likes the idea (if he's cheap, of course). He's basically Ellison with a lot more skills: neither can hit RHP, but Byrnes has more power, is a MUCH better basestealer, is just as good defensively in CF and better on the corners (acc. to BP's RATE2).

In terms of roster construction, he and Sweeney would form a platoon as the backup corner OF. He's also good enough defensively to be a late-game replacement on the corners when the Giants are ahead.

How about $1 M, plus incentives? That's only a few hundred K more than Ellison would make.

by leftymalo on Dec 21, 2005 1:29 PM PST up reply actions

Re: Byrnes

I'd rather have Byrnes than Ellison, for sure. I can't imagine the defense being the same, but Byrnes does have some skillz. More than Ellison, at least.

by Grant Brisbee on Dec 21, 2005 1:57 PM PST up reply actions