Star Pitcher Pinched
by Grant on Nov 6, 2009 12:11 PM PST
146 comments
by Grant on Nov 5, 1923 2:00 PM PST
Star Pitcher Sullies Team, Caught With Hooch
Teammates View Art Nehf Askance, Mindful of Series Loss
With the hopes and year-long dreams of post-championship attaboys dashed by the cross-town behemoth Yankees, whose steadfastness in the face of worthy competition proved too daunting for even our nifty boys, star pitcher Art Nehf was caught with a hip flask full of hooch, besmirching his name and reputation as well as that of his fair team.
Though Nehf's doggy, Joe Brooks appearance has always led this observer to believe that he partook of a belt of giggle water whenever convenient, the official pinch only confirms our suspicions. Nehf proved to be quite the sap by carrying the skee on the hip; though he was not zozzled at the time of his arrest, there is every indication that he was planning on going hoary-eyed through the streets of New York, stumbling from speakeasy to speakeasy.
Far be it from this observer to be the town killjoy, but Nehf's predilection for getting owled or fried to the hat whenever the opportunity arose quite possibly could be the reason for the Giants' crushing defeat in the Contest of Contests this solemn autumn. For no Yankees player has yet to be popped for panther sweat in the past year, which just might account for their uncanny ability to hit on all sixes when their backs were against the Polo Grounds center field wall. No impartial party has yet reported that fellas like Wally Pipp, Whitey Witt, or "Babe" Ruth have besotted themselves in a quest to get canned from whatever bathtub skee dribbled into their cup, so we can only assume that their gumption, discipline, and fortitude served them well.
The youth of today deserve more from Art Nehf, whose swanky glad rags prove a tell-tale sign of the gin-mill gadfly who lost the final game of a grueling Fall contest, possibly while splifficated. For shame, Mr. Nehf. For shame.
146 comments | 3 recs |
Hate the Yankees, not baseball.
by Grant on Nov 5, 2009 2:00 PM PST
448 comments
So it begins. I’ll bold the following, just so you know that I’m not crazy.
The Yankees have an inherent advantage. They committed hundreds of millions in one offseason to bring in C.C. Sabathia, Mark Teixeira, and A.J. Burnett, which is something that no other team can do. Signing those players is a big reason why the Yankees won a championship. The Yankees have an inherent advantage.
So I’ll never argue that payroll doesn’t matter. But I was listening to KNBR, and the hosts were going off on baseball’s lack of competitive balance. (If a KNBR intern can leave the following on a post-it note on Bob Fitzgerald’s desk, that’d be just peachy: according to the USA Today, the Cardinals were 17th among MLB teams in payroll, the Rockies were 18th, and the Twins were 24th. So please retire the "seven out of the top eight payrolls made the playoffs" line. Thank you.) Yes, the Yankees had an advantage. It was a substantial advantage. But, like every single championship team, they needed a little luck to go along with their spending, drafting, and trading.
448 comments | 2 recs |
Open World Series GameThread
by Grant on Nov 4, 2009 4:30 PM PST
651 comments
You know what are awesome? Game sevens. C'mon, Phillies.
651 comments | 0 recs
Rowand for Bradley: The idea that just won't die
by Grant on Nov 4, 2009 11:50 AM PST
819 comments
I've worked with some real freaks. I've trained a woman who, when the mouse reached the bottom of the mousepad, could not continue working until someone helped her figure out what to do. I worked with a person who ate peanuts constantly, chewed with her mouth open, and did it while asking you a question from six inches away. Just yesterday, my boss microwaved a hodgepodge of Halloween candy until it melted, froze it in a cup, and left the weird, gross, frozen mess in my desk drawer. Then he called me from the next office and said, "I can't wait any longer. Open your desk drawer!" Why did he do that? Because it amused him, that's why.
But I'd wager that if you tallied up my output -- the number of envelopes stuffed, pizzas cooked, reports filed, or whatever -- it would be the same with or without these people. They just made me hate certain aspects of my life a little bit more.
When Ryan Theriot was stepping into the batter's box to face Adam Wainwright with two outs and a runner at second, I'm pretty sure this wasn't going through his head:
819 comments | 0 recs |
Open World Series GameThread, Game Five
by Grant on Nov 2, 2009 5:22 PM PST
490 comments
490 comments | 0 recs
Hensley Meulens hired as new hitting coach
by Grant on Nov 2, 2009 3:44 PM PST
210 comments
Here's a Velez. Now make him a good hitter.
...taps foot impatiently...
Like, now. We're in this thing next year.
(The press release is after the jump, if you're so inclined. I'll just leave this link here so you don't have to ask.)
210 comments | 0 recs |
Evaluating the Freddy Sanchez extension
by Grant on Nov 2, 2009 1:15 PM PST
453 comments
It’s hard to get worked up about the Freddy Sanchez deal. The trade was a debacle, and it’s not an insignificant amount of money to pay an oft-injured, middle-of-the-pack second baseman. But if I’m going to spend the rest of the offseason arguing that the Giants would be nuts to spend hundreds of millions of dollars on name-brand free agents like Jason Bay and Matt Holliday, it would be disingenuous to claim that Sanchez’s $8M is going to prevent the Giants from getting a better player. I don’t want them to get a better player. Better players will cost more money or Bumgarners than they should this offseason. Keep the money and prospects; one player isn’t going to fix the team for the $8M we’re giving to Sanchez.
So that leaves two schools of thought on Sanchez’s deal:
453 comments | 0 recs |
Open World Series GameThread, Game Four
by Grant on Nov 1, 2009 4:00 PM PST
547 comments
There's only one November.
547 comments | 0 recs
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